I'm going through endocrine system disrupting exposures again. Last year, at this time, they were so bad that I developed a tumor, a cyst which ruptured internally - drained and bled, and I was bleeding heavily for more than a week, and for a total of 18 days at a wack, every month. I was so anemic I nearly died. The beginning of spray season, you know.
Well, it is back in full swing again and there have been more than 8 spray events near me in the last week alone. Besides the toxic encephalopathy, the systemic porphyrian collapse, and the anemia due to chronic hemorrhaging, I'm fiiiiiinnnnne.
This is the frustrating part, just when I begin to recover, I get dumped back into the bottom of the pit. Oooh! This is where I lose my temper! I hate wasting my days, not being able to do anything but be miserable! I hate not being able to care for myself. I hate not being able to help. I hate the horrible pain, and I hate the terror about not knowing wether I can survive another round.
One of the things that is going on during the brain swelling (that is literally tearing apart the calcified tissue that connects the plates of my skull, and that is squishing my brain cells until they pop and are destroyed,) as well as the swelling of the internal organs that crushes both my lungs, suffocating me, and constricts my heart, is systemic apoptosys. When your body doesn't have enough glutathione, the cells literally explode inside you. The more stringent the depletion, the greater the number that explode. It's something I can feel.
I have passed out, before. From lack of oxygen, and from anemia. It doesn't feel the same. This feels like a wave of death washing over you, as though you were the beach, and just as the receding tide draws off grains of sand, so the receding wave of death is drawing away my life. The bigger the hit, the stronger the rip tide. I feel my life ebb away. It is terrifying, because I can not stop it.
The IV Glutathione stops it, but it's only been available on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and only 55 miles away. I've had way too many close calls... So, we are trying a new thing. I have a percription for IV glutathione, to inject myself. The first shipment arrives Monday. I'm hoping I can learn to inject myself, as a defense against hits. I'm praying I have the sand to do it. I told my doctor that "if addicts can do it, it can't be too hard." I believe my "need" is as great as theirs...
As for the bleeding... Last year I ate 5 cups of broccoli per day, for months(I started at 2-3, but quickly found I had to increase it). It corrected all of those conditions, until now. I'm back on broccoli. I just about get the bleeding stopped, and then, another spray call comes. I take another hit. I bleed again.
Being sick takes up too much of my time!