I have trouble with the Christmas season... So much striving and pressure and getting things done. I love the peace that comes after the presents are opened and dinner is served. That's when I really can focus on Christ, and what His coming means. Its finally quiet, the chores are all done, the messes cleaned up and everyone is content. This is he peace of Christmas I long for all the holiday shopping season. Finally! SIGH!!!!!!!!!!!
This evening as I look down the line of relaxing family members in the living room, I feel especially blessed. Things are healing. I'm healing, and that is bringing healing to our family. My husband is smiling more now. He's not as tense. My disability caused a lot of frustrated anger, fear and resentment. With the improvements to my condition, a lot of those are melting away. All of the necessary accommodations aren't as burdensome, when the spirit is lifted. So everything is easier. I know he still loved me, even when he was angry; it's hard for a man of action to stand by and do nothing. Very hard. There were times when I thought this illness was going to tear us apart. But we hung on. So as the year draws to a close, I can take a few minutes to look back and see how far I've come. I can look forward and see that through God's grace and power, I shall make it further back on the road to recovery. I can also see that every single step I traveled I was never walking it alone. The Lord my God never left me or forsook me. Every painful step was a blessing, and every tear a prayer. I think the psalmist says it better... "I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a solid rock and gave me a firm pace to stand. He put a new song in my mouth; a song of praise to our God." 40:1-3 & "Unless the Lord had given me help,I would soon have dwelt in the silence of death. When I,said, 'My foot is slipping,' your love, O Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul." 103:17-19