Monday, April 9, 2012

Hoops

I'm still jumping hoops. I want to go to my son's wedding, and I feel as though I'm living that old tale about the pig that wouldn't jump over the stile... Haven't you heard it? Well it goes something like this...

There once was a little old lady that was cleaning her house and found a coin. So she threw on her coat, hurried to market and bought a pig. She drove the piggy nearly all the way home but, when they came to the stile, the pig refused to budge.(A stile is like a little ladder that goes up one side of a fence, and down the other.) She pushed and prodded and pulled but it was no use. She decided she needed some help. So she turned around and headed back t'word town in search of some. Very soon she happened upon a dog. She said,

"Dog, dog, bite pig. Pig won't jump over the stile and I shan't get home tonight." But the dog would not. So she went a little further down the road until she came to a stick. She said,

"Stick, stick, beat dog. Dog won't bite pig. Pig won't jump over the stile and I shan't get home tonight." But the stick would not. So she went a little further down the road until she came to a fire. She said,

"Fire, fire, burn stick. Stick won't beat dog. Dog won't bite pig. Pig won't jump over the stile, and I shan't get home tonight." But the fire would not. So she went a little further down the road until she came to some water. She said,

"Water, water, quench fire. Fire won't burn stick. Stick won't beat dog. Dog won't bite pig. Pig won't jump over the style, and I shan't get home tonight." But the water would not. So she went a little further down the road until she came to an ox. She said,

"Ox, ox, drink water. Water won't quench fire. Fire won't burn stick. Stick won't beat dog. Dog won't bite pig. Pig won't jump over the stile, and I shan't get home tonight." But... The ox would not. So she went a little further down the road until she came to a butcher. She said,

"Butcher, butcher, kill ox. Ox won't drink water. Water won't quench fire. Fire won't burn stick. Stick won't beat dog. Dog won't bite pig. Pig won't jump over the stile, and I shan't get home tonight." But the butcher would not. So she went a little further down the road until she came to a rope. (don't ask me why she's talking to a rope. Obviously she's a little crazy. She talks to inanimate objects!) She said,

"Rope, rope, hang butcher. Butcher won't kill ox. Ox won't drink water. Water won't quench fire. Fire won't burn stick. Stick won't beat dog. Dog won't bite pig. Pig won't jump over the stile, and I shan't get home tonight." But, you guessed it. The rope would not. So she went a little further down the road until she came to a rat. She said,

"Rat, rat, gnaw rope. Rope won't hang butcher. Butcher won't kill ox. Ox won't drink water. Water won't quench fire. Fire won't burn stick. Stick won't beat dog. Dog won't bite pig. Pig won't jump over the stile, and I shan't get home tonight." But the rat would not. So she went a little further down the road until she came to a cat. She said,

"Cat, cat, kill rat. Rat won't gnaw rope. Rope won't hang butcher. Butcher won't kill ox. Ox won't drink water. Water won't quench fire. Fire won't burn stick. Stick won't beat dog. Dog won't bite pig. Pig won't jump over the stile, and I shan't get home tonight." The cat said,

"If you give me a saucer of milk, I will," and so the little old lady did. And just as soon as kitty finished the last drop...

The cat began to kill the rat. The rat began to gnaw the rope. The rope began to hang the butcher. The butcher began to kill the ox. The ox began to drink the water. The water began to quench the fire. The fire began to burn the stick. The sick began to beat the dog. The dog began to bite the pig. The pig jumped over the stile, and the little old lady got home that night. Whew!

I used to tell that story when I was teaching. The kids really loved it. There's actually a lot that it teaches us about persevering, even in the face of hopeless resistance. It also teaches us not to mess with seemingly powerless little old ladies..... Food for thought.

Anyway, so here I am in the midst of my litany of hoops to jump to get what I want... I've talked to an army of people, and I've managed to at least push one part of the whole equation, a little bit forward. The Foundation for Service Dog Support has agreed to give me the accommodations I need, to get Rosie certified, if I can get the appropriate letters, from vets and my doctor. Well I have lots of letters from Dr. Smith. But I did request an updated/specific one. I still need one from my holistic vet for the spaying. He didn't think it was in her best interest to spay her, what with her having vacinosis...(I think that's why) At least. I would have wanted to hold off, on the spaying anyway, until she was older. Like 2-3 years old. I learned so much about the endocrine system, and how vitally important the hormones that are produced by the uterus and ovaries are to overall health... After I went through that horribly thing in 2010 with estrogen dominance, endometriosis, a uterine tumor, the ruptured cyst and the hemorrhaging. If it wasn't for Ryan moving off to Texas and getting married there, I would have waited. So, my plan currently hangs on wether or not my vet will write that letter. No. No dogs, pigs, butchers, rope or anything like that involved. Just me with my fingers crossed.

That and now Ryan & Michele are talking about moving the date up. Do they? Don't they? Do they? Don't they? Aaa argh! This is driving me nuts!!! I'm working as fast as I can! I feel like I just won't make it in time. It's breaking my heart. But I have to keep trying. It's like that part in a foot race, when you see someone pass you. You can't let it break your spirit. You have to persevere to the finish. So I have to keep going. Even if they decide to have the wedding soon, and not give me enough time. Not going to my son's wedding will break my heart. I can't help but sob every time I think about it. But, that's what happens to us. The toxically injured. We get cut out of everything. One of my dear friends couldn't attend her Mother's funeral. Another was forced to miss her Mother's and her own husbands funerals, and her daughter's wedding. Do they ever get over it? No. They're still heart broken. I have to keep doing this. Jumping the hoops, I mean. Other wise, I'll just keep missing more things. Like grand babies... I'll just stay imprisoned here. I don't want to be imprisoned and shut away from all the family events. I want to be a part of things! I want to live!

I think one of the reasons they're thinking of moving it up is they're afraid I'll get it all put together, and set out across the country, and something will happen to me on the way. Don't they realize that's what every loving parent thinks whenever their kid leaves the house?! Ironic, isn't it? Our kids tell us, "I'll be fine! Quit worrying!" but look what happens when the shoe's on the other foot... I'm practically beside myself. I don't know what to do. Obviously, I'm not as resourceful as the little old lady with the pig. :-(

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