Thursday, June 14, 2012

This Weeks Project: Surviving

Many of you know I like to keep projects going as mental and physical therapy. So I was sitting here gazing forlornly at my current project (on hold) and feeling very unproductive. Being unproductive shatters my self-esteem.

Then it occurred to me to stop kicking myself because isn't surviving a worthwhile project in and of itself? The answer is, "Yes!" The product is that I'm still alive and cognizant.

It's been a heck of a week. I knew it was coming, what with 3 GMO corn fields, and Bellinger's chemically inundated melons being grown in close proximity, this season. But, it's never as bad in my mind as it is to endure the reality. Man don't I wish the waves of torture would quit coming!!!

I saw workers in Bellinger's melon field on Saturday, so I was prepared for chlorothalonil symptoms. I did my IV as a mitigating treatment, but I wasn't surprised when I woke with ruptured blisters in my esophagus and lymph pain.

I was not pleased when I was awakened at 6:00 Monday morning with 2,4-D symptoms. I figured Mr. Evil sprayed before work... Then I saw his son drive off, later. Oh my goodness! I was told the 2,4-D gives him asthma attacks, so he's making his son do it!!!!!!! That's horrible!!!

Then I got a text from Bellinger, telling me he'd be applying "the next day", but not what. He didn't bother to reply to my inquiry.

I got a call from PGG, that they'd be applying round-up to the GMO corn crops. And another call from a neighbor that he'd be spot treating weeds with round-up on several places all around me. So my husband decided to spray round up on some goatheads, on our place, as well. Sigh!

I battened down the hatches. It wasn't enough. I'm not sure how to describe it. It was like being tortured. You know those horror movies where the people are screaming and writhing in agony because the alien being is clawing its way out of their body? It's like that. Several of my major lymph ducts and tissue masses felt like they were going to rupture. Of course I swelled up like the blueberry gum girl. My liver distended. Both my kidneys and liver burned like searing hot acid was being poured over/through them. And nothing, including another IV, knocked it down to endurable. I was weighing the do-ability of calling my kids to say "goodbye & I love you."

I was, again, at that unenviable place of thinking I wasn't going to be able to survive this. It's brutal. It's violent. I hate that they can do this to me, I can't protect myself and it's not considered "a crime."

Ron was getting really scared. He asked me, in desperation, if there was anything that he could do. He'd already showered and scrubbed twice, but I told him to do it again. It helped. Obviously the chemicals are extremely hard to get off, and still volatized either out of, or off of, him. He looked up non-toxic herbi-safe recipes. He says he's not using chemicals any more.

Finally. I sure wish people didn't have to be "individually" convinced by seeing me be physically damaged. I can't take it anymore!!!

So Tuesday I can barely move. I didn't even get out of my jammies. That's rare for me. But I didn't even care! Part way through the morning I started spotting. Endocrine system disruptive chemicals make me bleed.

I wake up tired but not too bad, all things considered, Wednesday. Ron tells me he saw a chemical tanker at Bellinger's field Tuesday morning, on his way to work. Usually that means they put it into the chemigation system and it goes out at night, on a timer. And I'm thinking, "this ain't so bad..."After Ron goes to work Wednesday, my spotting turns into hemorraghing, shaking and severe muscle weakness and tremors. ???!!! There's blood everywhere, and I can't stop it. Holy crap, I'm in melt down. I just did a shot. I can't do another shot this close!! I start thinking I should call Ron home from work, 'cause I don't want to die alone. I can't do this anymore!! It's too hard! I'm too tired! I'm dizzy and disoriented and passing out with nightmarish dreams.

But I am stubborn to the core. And that core surfaces. It says, "No! You will not give up!" Don't ask me why I'm referring to it in the third person. Maybe it wasn't me talking to me... Nee-ner, nee-ner, nee-ner, nee-ner (Twilight Zone music~ It was a really spacey couple of days!) Anyway, I thought, endocrine system disruptors = estrogen imbalance = need to balance ? (query) what herbals and nutrients balance hormones. I couldn't think so I sent an email to a friend. No response. So I roused myself to run a web search.

I used broccoli before. I was sucking it up to go make some as I ran the search. To sum up here's the other things I found that we're important to balance the endocrine system: fat, D3, iodine/iodide, licorice root & milk thistle. It worked. Yep. I'm as surprised as you. It was a last ditch effort. I figured I was going out. But in 30 minutes the bleeding was dramatically reduced and the shaking and collapse stopped. Damn! That's powerful.

So, I'm continuing the teas and am about to eat more broccoli, w/ cheese sauce. I'm still bleeding and feel beaten, bludgeoned and left for dead, but improved enough to 'want' to work on a project. Things are looking up. ;-} heh, heh

No comments:

Post a Comment