Saturday, May 24, 2014

Crawling Back Out of the Pit, Again

Wednesday May 21, 2014

I was just too tired to drive from home to Cutsforth after my Dr apt yesterday. I stopped at home, hoping it was safe enough to stay, just maybe. Nope. But, I couldn't go on. I unloaded my dirty laundry and just enough food to eat that night. Only I couldn't. I began puking and it didn't let up. My skin burned and my lips peeled. The roof of my mouth became sore; chloracne developed on my eardrums and inside my ear canals, as well as behind my ears. All of the soft tissue of my face hurt more than my poor plagued teeth. The bodies perception of pain is gated, so at least it felt like my teeth hurt less. My guts ached and my pancrease was screaming such that by 4:00 a.m. I was doubled over. I had the laundry done by 7:30 a.m and even got another blackout panel completed while I waited for Ron to get up. He filled my fresh water for me and then went to work, and I followed him as soon as I pulled the last load from the dryer. I went by my favorite gas station, then to the parking lot at his office and waited until he was through with meetings. I could tell the grounds keepers at his office building use some nasty chemicals. Even in the RV I developed a migraine. I'm floored at how pervasive our societies use of really toxic chemicals has become.  Then we went to the nearby RV park so Ron could empty my grey and black water tanks. I had one more daunting task to accomplish. O.k. Not really. But I told myself that because I knew if I thought about all the things I had to do before I could curl up and pass out, I'd come undone. So I focused on getting back up to Cutsforth Campground, keeping my RV on the road, being careful so I didn't miss any stop signs, or road hazards. Its hard to do when your body's in that much pain and you have loose (truck) steering, with a 10 mph cross wind on the body of a 30ft RV. I bought a Safe-T-Plus steering control bar to help with that but they've been spraying so much I haven't been home long enough to get it installed. Anyway, I took my time driving the winding roads, and was extra cautious going through the towns. I had to keep reminding myself to sit up straight as my guts were still so painful I kept finding myself hunched over the steering wheel. But I made it. I pulled into the campground and stopped to check with the camphost to make sure there hadn't been anymore spraying. Man, I feel paranoid! 

I found out that the camp hosts are fragrance free! David is a cancer survivor. You know I hadn't asked because I hate to be that pushy. But it came up in Roberta's and my 'through the glass' conversation. So I opened the door and we had a nice chat. It actually was very revitalizing. I was then able to drive up the hill and get my 30 foot Escape Pod jockied around and set up. It had finally been long enough that the glyphosate had finished volatizing and I could open the vents and windows to get some fresh air in here! Sigh of relief! Rosie and I were planning on taking a nice long walk over the knob above us. I'd checked with David to see if it was o.k. to hike there since it wasn't park property, and he'd got me permission from the land owners. Then I heard the whine of an engine, and saw a midsized green truck climbing up the winding road beneath me. I shut everything back down. It was the maintanance guys. They came to work on the water again. It still wasn't working right. They had decided they needed to replace the frost-free. So Rosie and I changed our plans and watched them get out shovels and dig up the old one. When they pulled out the new unit they discovered they didn't have the correct fittings. They jumped back in their rig and headed back to town. Well, I couldn't risk gettong caught out when they returned so I remined myself I needed a nap anyway. But first I decided to jump through the shower and wash out the clothes I had on. Then I made a cup of herbal tea to take away that migraine, and curled up on the couch for a nice nap. I woke up a couple of hours later when the guys got back. It didn't take them very long to get the new frost-free installed and they zipped out of here. Rosie and I waited until the site had a chance to air out then we set out on a nice long ramble up the hill and through the woods in the glorious fresh piney air and sunshine. We managed to get in 2 walks today! So much better! Everything's starting to feel better too. Finally a break in my pain! My stomach quit hurting and I'm keeping food down again with minimal puking. My teeth are just a little sore. My brains are coming back. I remembered all the stuff I was supposed to order when I was home, but couldn't for the life of me drag the thoughts out of my brain. I wrote it down this time. And now its time for Rosie and I to go to bed. :-)

Thursday May 22, 2014

I slept in until almost 9:00! I woke up feeling very refreshed. It was such a relief. I decided to take Rosie out for a short walk around the knob before breakfast. I did eat a small piece of very dark chocolate and a dab of honey just so I wouldn't crash from using up all my energy. The sun was shining, the birdies tweeting. It was lovely. So I threw on some clothes, jeans and a T-shirt I'd rinsed out from the day before, and out we went. We angled up the side hill, Rosie sniffing every interesting varmit trail she came across. I was noticing the activity of hungry, excited bumble bees as they visited the low growing mats of what looked like a short form of Oregon grape, wild strawberries and various other tiny purple and white flowers that I don't know the names of. I wondered if the Audabon books came in digital copies? We hadn't been out very long, I'd guess about 3 min. when I came across what looked like 2 cherry tomatoes laying on the ground. Well I'd left my glasses in the RV so I bent down for a closer look. I thought maybe some bird had dropped them, and wondered if one of the cabin owners had a small garden. I noticed some others that were different shaped and more brown with red and then a completely open mushroom that was red around the edges and had a progressively darker brown center. Mystery solved. I made a mental note to tell David about them, as he'd mentioned he was out yesterday hunting mushrooms.

I hadn't taken even 3 more steps when whammo! Searing lymphoma pain in my right arm pit, spreading across my chest. What the hell was going on?! Could it be that there was still a contaminant on the shirt that I hadn't gotten rinsed out? The pain escalated and I was suffused with cloying heat. I moved into the shade of a tree. Porphyria? The pain eased a little, then returned. I was in agony, and madly trying to massage the blocked lymph. O.k. Not Porphyria. I began to feel naseous, and my body dearly wanted to hurl. But I couldn't. My LES had locked up! O' shit, O damn! I was in big trouble. The only thing I could think of was the shirt. As the intensity of the pain magnified I fought the urge to rip off my T-shirt and fling it away from me. The rational part of my brain reminded me that "me, streaking half naked through the forest," (I can't wear bras because of my lymphoma)  would not be a good character reference to those cabin owners, should they happen to see me, that had given me permission to hike on their land.  O.K, streaking isn't accurate, it was more like staggering and stumbling. Regardless, Rosie and I made our way back to the RV as quickly as possible, shirt still in place, and feeling as though it was draining the life out of me. I fought with the lock and got us both inside. I shucked my clothes as soon as I got the door shut, no improvement. I washed my face. Better. I gulped magnesium/C water, better. I scooped up the clothes and sealed them in bags. My symptoms did not get worse when I handled them. Huh?! It also didn't lesson my symptoms to seal them away. What else could it have been? Could it possibly have been the mushroom? Or would that make it a toadstool? I was certainly going to ask David when he came by! I've never even seen a toadstool before in my life. What are the chances that that would be one, and I'd find it? @@ Terrific (sarcasm)! Anyway I put on a light dress, I was still swelteringly hot, like I'd run 3 miles, and turned on the air conditioner.  I managed to get my LES to relax, then to get in some raw egg and cream cheese, as well as a little more honey and chocolate. Then I sat down to rest. I realized I was shaking. It wasn't too long before Rosie reminded me that she hadn't had a chance to get her "business" done. She notified me by passing a very ghastly stinky! So we hobbled, o.k., I hobbled -she pranced, back out but we didn't go very far. When we got back I decided I needed to rinse my hair as well. That improved my symptoms also. I grabbed the acupuncture needles and the zapper and brewed a cup of lymph thinning and detox tea. I had to alternate it with milk. I felt a bit better. I have a homeopathic called Lymphomyasote. I tried that. It made it worse. I tried oil pulling. The result was a mild improvement. Back and forth over all the immune boosters, detox methods and lymph treatments I know, still not sure what caused it. I was tempted to go take a photo of the mushroom suspect, but didn't want the repeat exposure if that was the source. When David came up at noon to check on me he confirmed that it was, indeed, a very poisonous mushroom! And since one was open, it was casting spores. Since I'd bent down to examine them (I didn't even touch them!)... There you go! I wonder what the range of a mushroom spore is? Huh, it reminds me of that Star Trek episode where they were poisoned by the flower spores. Great, my life is bordering on science fiction. @@ @@ @@ O' brother!!! Being me is such a PAIN!!!!!!!!! Ya' know, this kind of crap is just crazy! If it wasn't happening to me, I would be inclined not to believe it. But I swear, its all true! So the remainder of today will be a rest day. I learned a very important lesson,  "Avoid red things in the woods." Now I'm wondering about snakes...

5:09 p.m.
Admittedly I have a very low boredom threashold. I took Rosie on a short walk this afternoon. Its such a lovely day, I just couldn't stay inside. I kept a look out for any red things lying on the ground, and stayed well away from those ones I found this morning. Nothing bad happened. I know! Amazing right? I did see some creamy tan mushrooms like the ones you buy in the store, but I left them well alone. No need to find out the hard way if they're toxic or not. I also saw some chocolate brown ones with a slightly ruffled, tan edge. I gave them a wide berth, too.

So about 3:00 I decided I was feeling good enough to make supper. Soup of course. Lots of veggies, venison and a bone broth base. Yum. :-) I dumped in some organic heavy whipping cream. One thing about this remineralizing your teeth diet, its rich! O' yeah, when I was home I found out I'd lost a couple more pounds. Its eating all this butter, cheese and cream. I'm eating more food now than before I got the achalasia. If you've read my healthy weight loss paper you'd know why it works. 

Did I tell you about the tooth pick thing? My dentist has me cleaning my teeth with a tooth pick. Every tooth, front and back. You press the point down on the gum between each tooth and draw the tooth pick up along the adjacent teeth. My teeth are really clean! I've always resisted flossing because my teeth are so close together, and it takes so much force to get the floss in there; I always hurt my gums. Now that they are getting healthier, flossing is working better. I'm also using a silk floss without any wax (petroleum), or flavoring on it and that makes them (the gums) happier as well. 

Friday May 23, 2014

Last night I had the windows and vents open. It was lovely to enjoy the fresh air. But my lymph began to act up again. I shut them down. I figured someone unleashed a bunch of mosquito spray. I couldn't smell anything, but thats my best guess. So I had to jump through all the hoops again last night. I'm feeling kind of groggy today. The weather seams to be matching my mood. Grey, overcast. I was thinking of taking my cell phone to the top of the knob to see if I could get reception up there. I'll keep an eye on the weather. If it clears, I think we'll try it. Other than that, I'm just spinning. It takes a lot of time to spin up a skein.

10:10
It cleared up quite a bit so Rosie and I headed up the hill. When we got to the top of the knob I fired up my cell phone. I got 2 bars but couldn't place a call. So we climbed up to the next saddle. It was up past the last cabin. I was able to get 3 bars, but still not able to place a call. There was one more incline to the top; its very steep and littered with downed trees. Rosie and I spent 15 minutes making our way through that, but we didn't get very far. We're working on her learning to go around things on the same side as I do. Those downed poles were a real circus! I realized I didn't have the health to be doing it. So we picked the easiest route and circled back. All in all we had an hour's ramble through the woods. The most anxiety, for me, was when we approached cabins. If there was a person or dog there I could have been hurt terribly. But no one was there. David said so, but I can't afford to assume those kinds of things are true. We did come across another red mushroom, but it had spent its spores, and did me no harm. It looked like a brown and black, curled leaf until I was right on top of it. I found a survey monument. Probably only of interest to people who've worked in the field. It was initialed "SC." I'll try to remember to ask Ron who that is/was. We also used the 'road' more than usual. It was easier walking. We followed it out until we located the last cabin. Then we came back. I could tell I needed a rest. Rosie had a lovely time. Looks like she's already taking a nap. If it can be considered napping with her pink tongue hanging out of her mouth. ;-)

11:00

We napped about an hour. The weather turned again. So I spent the day spinning, reading and doing protocols. Rosie is bored with being cooped up in the RV. In parks she must stay on the lead. She longs to run. Poor thing. I totally empathize with her. She missed the rest of her family. Me too.

Saturday May 24, 2014

I woke up with congested lymph. There are 5 other campers in the park now and the cabin owner nearest me is in residence. I'm guessing its all their chemicals, including mosquito repellents. I'm trying to decide if it might be less toxic back home. I have to consider that some of my neighbors might be doing yard work, i.e. spraying. I want to go home. When I was home last it was toxic both inside and outside. I think Ron relaxed the rules a bit thinking since I wasn't there, I wouldn't be effected. He'd left a couple of bags of mail un-sealed (I found them). Mail is very toxic. All those printing chemicals, peoples perfumes and fragrances, and diesel and gas fumes from transport. People don't realize that toxins become trapped in the home when it doesn't effect them in an obvious way, like it does with TIs. With each new toxin brought in, the level gets higher. Most inside air is way more toxic than outside air - unless there's spraying or other forms of environmental contamination. He may have, also, left his outworld clothing bins open, or unsealed. His clothes from the office (highly toxic environment) and farming (diesel) are in there. If I go home and the pesticide has dissipated, I may still be unable to enter my home. It took me months to clean out the contaminants from the last time. I don't have the energy to do it all again. If I did go home and stay in the RV, at least I'd have internet and cell. Of course I have no way of knowing if someone else left me a spray message until I get back down into cell range... So I'm sitting here trying to determine if my pain is getting worse or better, and at what point do I decide I've tolerated it enough? Its that frog in the pot analogy. It the pain grows slowly you (the frog sitting a pan of water, then turning the heat on) stay in the pot until your cooked. If the pain is sudden and dramatic (like dropping a frog into boiling water) you get out of there! I'd rather not wait until I'm so sick its unsafe to drive. But then again, is any place else going to be safer. 

9:06

David came up to check on me and let me know thre were a whole lo of campers down there, with lots more coming. I could tell it was worrying him. I took the hint. I left for home.

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