Monday, May 26, 2014

More Than I Thought, and Better Than I Expected

Saturday May 24th

When I drove down through the camp I discovered every one of the RVs I could see was hiding at least one more. Some of the sites were stacked up with extra trailers and tents. So it really was crowded. On the way down the mountain I saw at least 8 more RVs heading up. Good thing I left. Its a lot more crowded than I thought!

Home was still a little toxic. I slept in the RV one night. Then really aired out the house the next day with a thorough cleaning. Ron was working his brains out.  He looks so tired. I really worry about him. I know he doesn't eat right when I'm not here. He's probably not going to bed at the right time either.  Most likely he's working from 6:00 a.m. until 10:00 p.m. and falling to sleep on the couch. We really need to figure out a 'better for both of us' solution. 

Wednesday May 28th

Anyway, for the next 3 days I worked on projects, and playing catch up. Then today I got the opportunity to watch Joey for just a couple of hours. It turned into more but Joey and I were having a great time. Then I got the spray text from Aaron Hideman, the guy growing peas across the road. He informed me he was spraying a pyrethroid for insects the next day. I texted him back and asked if he could delay it till Friday or Saturday due to my dental surgery on Thursday. His response was an abrupt, "Sorry, no." I let Ron handle it, as I wouldn't have been able to stay calm, or polite. After all, the guy is responsible for spraying the glyphosate that caused the cavities, and now I'm going to a dentist visit that may or may not turn out well. I'll be having anesthesia (articaine, plain) and they're usually toxic. I was stressed over it enough already with out being forced out of my home again, when I need to be able to heal. I'd have to go to Cutsforth Campground and I'm afraid to be there all alone, with no communication, in case it goes bad. - I just got a call from Ron, he decided he'd be taking a couple days off to go with me. He was driving me to the dentists, so he'd just include Friday off as well. Whew!

Thursday May 29th

I spent the morning getting ready. Ron put in a half day at work then came home for Rosie, me and the RV, and we drove up to Sunnyside over the back roads. Our visit with the dentist started off well. Then it nosed dived when I expressed some more concerns, and my fears about toxic side effects. I didn't know it but he was keying into his past experiences with hysterical, fearful patients. I was keyed into the possible bad effects of chemicals. I've had some horrendous reactions to chemicals and fear the uncontrollable, traumatic consequences of toxic exposures. He lectured me about how we'd done all this prep work and how having a "positive attitude" is crucial, and the power of positive thinking. @@ My dad used to make me try to bend spoons with my mind, for hours... I've been all over that power of positive thinking thing. It doesn't work. What is, is. That keyed me into a whole different set of issues. But, I kept my mouth shut until a better way to address it occured to me. I was able to offer a compromise and restated that I approach everything by baby steps, if it works - great, if not, figure away around it and move forward. But I won't lie to myself, or anybody else, and pretend its going to be fine. I have had too many experiences where my best laid plans have failed. Yes, we did a lot of careful preparation and planning. But that doesn't guarentee it will work. Yes, having a positive attitude is beneficial to healing, BUT, I have to be careful of chemicals. I can't just tell myself they won't hurt me. I've been in enough situations where I thought nothing was going to hurt me then, whamo! It has gone very, very bad.

Anyway, the critical point for me was the anesthesia injection. Dr. Stevens has a very light touch, when it comes to giving shots.  I was relieved to find that I didn't have any immediate, adverse reactions. No lymphoma, no chest pain, no collapse! That was a very good sign. I did get paresthesia (numbness and tingling in the hands and feet, headache (toxic encephalopathy), that sort of thing. He had to cut away some gum tissue to get all the decay. He used a lasar on my gums and hand instruments on my teeth. I was very impressed with his care and skill. He did mention he was having trouble with my gums hemorraghing, but he was exceedingly careful in dealing with it using non-toxic methods. Ron was watching and later told me it wasn't all that much blood. Rosie could smell the blood and set to fussing a bit. The filling cement and materials went in without a problem. I was less concerned about them than the anesthesia. A lot of the the protocols for TIs say that none of the "-caines" are safe for us. 

It was after the procedure, when Dr. Stevens expressed what a wonderful patient I was (meaning calm and obedient, I think), that I learned about his past stressful experiences with patients whose fear revolved around dental visits in general. Apparently he's had a few that took 3 people to hold them down. That was why he was trying to talk me into a positive attitude! I reminded him that my issue will always be with the chemicals, I'm not afraid of dentist's instruments, or dentist level of pain, or dentists. I'm not afraid of needles or "knives." I am afraid of the kind of excruciating, life threatening, painful events, that careen out of control in seconds, that I can have from what seem to most people to be innocuous little things. I made sure to tell him how very impressed with his skills that I was. It turned out a lot better than I expected.

Its about 6:30 p.m. 

We're still on the road to Cutsforth and my headache is worse. Though still a "mild" toxic encephalopathy, at this point. My jaw is a little sore from all the pushing on it for scraping. I expected that. I've noticed an up tick in the nerve pain in my back teeth, and an increase in puking, but its not "too bad." About every ten minutes. The anesthesia is pretty much resolved from my face, lips and tongue. I'm sipping more of the milk thistle/licorice root tea that I was drinking on the way to the dentist. I was using it proactively to protect my liver, on the way up. Now I'm hoping to speed the toxins through. I've got intense lower back pain -kidney distress. I'm noticing some freaky visual disturbances developing. They started to manifest just after I took a turn at driving. I did the straight parts. Ron was looking exhausted! But about the time we switched back over I realized that things that were standing still were starting to look like they were moving, and that when we were approaching, and going around corners, it appeared that we were going way to fast. Pretty weird.

9:50 p.m.

We arrived at Cutsforth in the dark and set up camp minimally: Leveling. Power. Neither Ron nor I had eaten anything all day. I'd abstained because I didn't want to urp it up during my dental procedure. Then afterwards because I wanted to give my gums time to heal. I did have breakfast, but I hadn't realized Ron had not. So when we got to Cutsforth, we both focused on eating. I discovered nothing was going in or staying in. I tried to do honey for energy. I also discovered I'd lossed urinary function. Since I hadn't been able to keep liquids in, that would be part of it. What little urine I managed to coax out was very dark. More signs of kidney distress. By that time my headache had improved somewhat. 

4:00 a.m. I was awakened by Detox pain and intense heat, and "pituitary bleed."

Friday May 30th

Its a beautiful day here. Sunny, with a light breeze. Mid to lower 70°s. Rosie and I got up about 7:30 a.m. and went for a walk around the knob. Ron, bless his heart was so tired he slept in. I've still got that brain encephalopathy, but I'm trying to ignore it. We had an unexpected visitor after we returned, while Ron was still sleeping. I heard all this yapping and thought someone's little dog must have gotten loose and ended up at our site. I looked out the front windshield and here is what I saw.

Do you see him? Here's a cropped pic

I've seen a fair amount of their scat, but this is the first coyote I've seen up here. It was interesting that he knew we were there and didn't care. I could see his ears twitchin' around as he listened to us talk. He even lay down and got comfortable while he continued his yappin'. I asked Ron, he woke up at the noise, if he wanted me to shoo him away but he said it didn't bother him, we were at the coyote's "house." 

When Ron got up we fixed our breakfasts and sat outside in the caressing sun and fresh air to eat them. I was eating raw egg and cream cheese, warmed just enough to not gross me out. Ron played naughty and had "raw" s'mores. I just smiled. If he wants to act like a kid on a camping trip, its fine by me. He needs the 'vacation." He drank orange juice so at least he got some C. It was lovely just having company. We also finished setting up camp. I unrolled the small awnings and set out the cones, Ron set up the big awning. Did I tell you about the cones previously? I believe I did, but for new readers, I bought traffic cones and cone sleeves that say, "Do Not Enter." The park lets me put them up on the road just past the spot next to me. It keeps people from blundering into my site and toxing my ass off. Rosie and I carted them down the hill and set them out. Anyway, Ron and I enjoyed our breakfasts, while Rosie ranged to the end of her lead checking out all the interesting sign. When we finished we just sat for a while soaking up the peace, the soothing sounds of the wilderness and the healing rays of the sun. A large crow winged his way over our site. We could hear the woosh of each wing flap. We just smiled at each other. "Cool!" 

After awhile Ron got out his fishing gear and stripped the old line, and put on new. There's a fishing pond down the hill in the camp ground. He was looking forward to casting a line over it.  I noticed the sun was intensifying the pain behind my eyeballs, and it was time for me to start my protocols anyway, so Rosie and I went in. Ron asked if we wanted to come with him, but since there are a few other campers on the grounds I can't risk the possible exposure to their mosquito poisons. So I told him we could hike to the top of the peak together later. Well, before it got to be turkey hunting time. 

Ya know, I didn't even think about dragging him up here with me as a way to get him to take (much needed) vacations. Even though my symptoms aren't very bad, I'm quite pleased with the fact he has to take a "forced vacation" on my account, since he won't take them for his own. Having him here, even if its just nearby when he's out hunting and fishing, helps me to relax. I've lost track of the number of nights I've spent in life threatening situations, alone, wondering if I'll survive, and worrying about Rosie being left all alone, trapped in here. 

11:00 a.m.
Its usually not until later that I realize just how "out of it that I was." When I came in and was getting stuff from the fridge I noticed I had forgotten to turn the fridge on last night. I was REALLY out of it! Anyway, I've completed my first round of protocols and am going to relax, let my gums heal and prepare some more roving for spinning. :-) Oh yeah, while Rosie and I were sitting here with the window open enjoying the breeze a ruby throated humming bird came right up to check out our big awning! We (Rosie and I) usually don't unfurl the big awning because I'm not proficient with it yet, and I keep my set up and break down to a minimum in case of toxins forcing us out suddenly. So we've never had this window open in the morning. Usually there's a towel over it to keep the heat out of the RV. Though today its a new blackout curtain I made. One of my recent projects. Living in an RV is a little like living in a tin can. :-} The humming bird was a joy to see! So tiny, and flashy! LOL this one was a pale spring green with lime green. He reminded me of peridot.

2:30 p.m.

I didn't work on my spinning very long when Ron showed up wearing a big ol grin. "How's the fishing?" I asked. He tried to fake a glum attitude but he couldn't pull it off. He'd caught (and released) a couple dozen. Plus a little 3 year old girl with her grandparents came by and wanted to touch his fish. "Ooh, icky!" She said, but she touched it again and said it was pretty. He got a giggle out of that. He offered to let her take that one home but her grandma veto'd that idea real quick. After lunch and a few more minutes of story telling we decided to take that walk. We started up the knob using the usual route.  Now when Ron walks in the woods its at a speed that more resembles a "forced march" than anything else. He doesn't have a mosey. As we crossed the top of the knob we switched to following the road. We headed up the next stretch to the saddle. I reminded him that I have to go slow. I was also telling him about how many cell phone bars I'd got at each location. He asked if I thought he could go back down to the RV and get his cell and catch back up before I would get to the top of the rise. Oh yeah. So he went back. Rosie and I kept meandering, or moseying, or even plodding along, if you like. Then we heard a truck start up way below us. And we heard a bunch of dogs start barking in the canyon bottom just over the hill to the right. Uh-oh. I had visions of 'Frontline' (highly toxic) wearing, exuberant dogs converging on us. We continued for a ways, keeping our ears focused on the progress of the truck and the whereabouts of the dogs. As we neared the top, no returning Ron. Surprised me. I was sure he'd catch back up to us before we crested the saddle. Unfortunately it became obvious that the truck was coming up the road behind us. We baled off the road and into the brush. I figured it was the property owner of the cabin just around the bend from where I was standing. I didn't want to get fumed by the car exhaust, so we dove into the woods. I went far enough down the mountain side that I was encircled by conifers. Nature's air purifiers. It worked. It turned out the truck was a white jeep. It drove passed and I wasn't toxed. I decided I'd best head back down the hill in case the property owners had a dog of their own. We climbed the hill back to the road and began our desent. Only the white jeep reappeared behind us. Oh crap. We were on a section of the road that had steep embankments above and below us. We couldn't get off the road. So I did the only thing left for me to do. I ran. I'm not sure if the earth trembled or the sky darkened where you are, but me running is practically a miraculous event, so it should have. Anyway, I ran down that road, decrepit and damaged body parts flailing about, with the white jeep in hot pursuit. Down the road I pelted, long dark braid bouncing out behind, new, shorter hairs springing loose from confinement, standing straight out and waving about madly. My normally tidy, though eccentric, appearance devolved into that of an all out crazy woman in just a few seconds. Ron appeared on the road bellow us at the next spot where the terrain leveled out. As soon as we got to him we baled off the road again, and ran on by, into the woods. He intercepted the white jeep. I was afraid he was going to get a chewing out, but it wasn't a land owner. It was a service technician looking for a particular cabin. He was trying to catch me to ask directions. @@ I have no idea what he thought, or if Ron bothered to explain my predicament. Ron sent him back down the mountain to talk to David. I was pretty spent. I had to rest a bit before we could go on. I didn't want to give up. I've made it my goal to hike to the very top of the mountain this summer. My best chance would be with Ron there to help me out of confrontations. So I suggested we go on up to the saddle before the white truck came back. This time we made it past the last cabin site and crossed onto forrest service land. This is that place where all the trees were blown down that I mentioned last trip. We climbed around in there for 30 minutes or so. We were having a good time, even though we weren't making much progress t'word the peak. I felt my body giving me "low energy" signals and had to sit down on a big rock and rest. Ron wandered about with his cell phone held up checking for bars. The best he could get was one. We decided to explore the saddle more thoroughly and wandered back t'word the campground. We could look right out across the canyon at our RV perched on the hill below us. At that point I had to tell Ron I needed to head back. So back we came. I'm ashamed to say I even had to have him carry my water bottle the last part of the hike. :-p  I'm resting again, intending to take a nap. Ron, ever in motion, went down to the camp ground to talk to David and call Justin on the camphost phone, to arrange his ride out tomorrow. :-}

4:00 p.m.

When Ron returned he told me that he discovered that he went to high school with David and Roberta's daughter! When Roberta found out she called her daughter and handed Ron the phone. LOL. Small world. They had a nice chat. It was getting close to turkey hunting time so Ron started getting ready... Here'a a pic

He says he's not all that excited about shooting one. He's more interested in if he can call one in. Its the end of the season, so the hens are sitting quietly on their nests and the Toms aren't as crazy. I'm glad he's taking his shot gun anyway. That's cougar and bear country. 

8:00 p.m. Or there abouts

David came up to check on me and see if Ron had got back down. It was about 6:30. I told him that I expected Ron around dark. Then Ron surprised me by getting back about a quarter past 7:00 or so. No turkeys. No wildlife. He did get to the top. He said there's a fence up there with "no hunting, no trespassing" signs, owned by a private outfitter.

I got finished turning that roving into sliver and did some spinning. Then switched to my evening protocols. Ron's having spaghetti that I made at home and put it in the freezer for him. I can't eat this late, but I'll try a little milk or herbal tea before bed. 

Saturday May 31st

10:00 a.m.

Last night Ron had some trace on him, even after he changed to his RV clothes. Probably on his head and face from all of his encounters with different people during the day. I started getting lymph reactions that got progressively worse until I had him shower. I left a vent open all night and ran both air purifiers. Which means no heat. Neither of us were anxious to get up this morning. Rosie was, though. She rousted me out of my warm snuggly bed with a cold wet nose to the eye. Ummmm, thanks Rosie! It was actually warmer outside. Lol I had my usual almost raw egg smoothie ( and found out I was still urping), and made french toast, fried in butter for Ron. He actually said they were better than he's ever gotten in a restuarant. It must be because I served them up with plenty of fresh piney air and sunshine. ;-) 

Alex, Justin and Joey are coming up for lunch and to give Ron a lift home today. So Ron went fishing early. I did up the dishes, and got to work on my protocols. Today, I'll need to work in some acupuncture. I took a pic of my repaired tooth. I didn't think it looked all that different from a regular tooth (amazing dental work), and its kind of blurry, so I won't post it. I wanted to check on how my gums were healing. Looks pretty good. :-) 

9:00 p.m.

Ron and the kids left about 5:00. Its always the hardest right after everybody leaves. The loneliness rushes in like water breaching a boat hull. I had downloaded a new book before we left home just for this moment, so I read it. Pat McManus' "The Tamarack Murders: A Bo Tully Mystery." I didn't find it as engaging as the other Bo Tully Mysteries, but I can't tell you if that was Pat's fault or mine. I'll have to read it again sometime before I can decide. While I was reading I glanced up, and right outside my window was a huge tom turkey! LOL Ron tried so hard to call one in, and not long after he leaves we get a personal visit. I tried to take a pic but they're wiley critters and the pic came out blurred as he rushed away.

It was good to see the kids. Apparently Joey was sick all night with a fever. Alex had been up with him. She was a titch grouchy. His nose is still running. Its been running since his last DPT shot. SMH I think thats about the time they also started letting him eat wheat, and processed dairy. I've mentioned to them about withholding the wheat. I haven't mentioned the process dairy yet... I don't want to be the pushy mother. Heh, heh. Or is that "always be" the pushy mother. I do try to filter it! Anyway, Joey loves to climb in and out of grandma's RV. His little legs can't even do one step so someone has to lift him up each step. Grandma's abs got quite a work out. 50+ reps of 4 "steps." Ron and the kids had hot dogs, roasted over the fire topped with some B-B-Q Beef I'd put up for Ron, and reheated on the cooktop. Of course they roasted marshmallows and made s'mores for desert. Joey wasn't feeling like eating much. He had cheese and raisins. It was fun to watch them enjoying themselves. It seemed to me that getting out into the woods refreshed them as much as it refreshed Ron. They all looked more relaxed by the end of the afternoon. 

I did have to spend a lot of time yesterday jumping up and going into the RV everytime someone drove or walked up the road. The wind was blowing up from the canyon floor yesterday. The cones held them off from coming all the way into our camp. I get that they're just exploring. They wanted to see were the road went.  I'm thankful they were respectful of the cones. 

Rosie's pretty glum that the rest of her family left. She was so excited when they arrived she was flipping around in the air on the end of her lead!  Now, she's moping. Poor thing. She doesn't even want her toys.

Sunday June 1st

8:00 a.m.

Rosie and I got up not long after 7:00 and took our hike up the knob. We spooked a big buck. Well, I'm guessing it was a buck. I saw its legs and hindquarters. It was alone, and its thumps, as it bounded away, seemed too heavy for a doe. Plus it stopped not far into the trees and huffed and sniffed to find out what we were. The huffing was really loud. It sounded like it was right on the other side of the tree from me. I checked. Not there. Then he stamped his foot impatiently until we finished our business and left. On the way back down the hill we flushed that big ol tom turkey. He got up not 5 feet from us. That surprised the heck out of Rosie! I let her sniff his bed and told her what a good girl she was for finding the turkey. Repeatedly. She looked like she needed convincing. Once we got back to the camper, Rosie climbed up on her seat and resumed moping. She's not eating. I'm regurging, so I'm not eating either. I'm trying to get in some burdock and ginger root tea. I'm not having much success. I didn't get to the acupuncture needles yesterday. I'll try those this morning.


I did the acupuncture needles and the acu-pen. I'd been continuing to regurgetate and finally gagged up a "rock." I think I've developed a diverticuli of the esophagus. It collects solids and compresses them into a lump. Its kind of like those things you get in your tonsils, only these are bigger. They tend to be almost the size of the first section of my baby finger. Yeah, they hurt coming up. So I pin-cusioned myself and zapped the heck out of anything I thought might help. I've got some sore spots but feel better. I still couldn't get the burdock tea in. I decided to try eggnog. Milk, egg, turbinado. That worked. Finally. I was getting worried there. Here in a bit I'll try some C water. I definitely need the fluids. My urine is very dark. 

To pass the time I read the second book I downloaded, "Common Poisonous Plants." I figured I should learn what they are so I don't blunder into those, too. There are a lot of toxic plants! I had no idea! I wouldn't recommend the book though. The pictures were very small, often blurry, and did not give accurate representations of the plant, such that you would be able to identify them. I need a better digital plant book. 

I fixed Rosie's not eating. I gave her all the solids from the soup I tried (unsuccessfully) eating last night. Meat, carrots, celery, and garlic. I mixed in a raw egg, too. She was very happy to help me out with that.  I was so hungry last night that I tried heating up some soup and straining off the broth for me. I was hanging on to it more or less. But the veggies and meat were so tasty looking! I just had to try one small spoonful. Just a bite really. I even chewed it very carefully. Mistake. I spent several hours puking that back up. :-(  I got a few hours sleep before it started up again this morning. Thats why Rosie got the solids. They still looked really tasty. 

8:14 p.m.

I spent the afternoon working on the spreadsheet Dr. Stevens wanted me to prepare so he can keep track of my reactions. I was getting pretty weak so I went ahead and made eggnog, with sugar. Sugar relaxes the LES. I was able to get that in. Things started to improve after that. I still had some more stuff to gag up, but my digestive system has been coming back on line. I took Rosie out and discovered the landowners were in residence closest to me. They were enjoying a campfire. I heard the woman talking to a guy and her dog about the time I realized my skin was burning. I don't know if that was from her chemicals, something they were burning or the dog's chemicals. If they're still there tomorrow I may have to leave. I washed when I came in but it looks like I may have to take a complete shower and bag my clothes.  

Monday June 2nd

8:00 a.m.

Rosie insisted I get up at 6:45. She hadn't got to pee last night. She was dawdling and more interested in the cabin owners and their dog than getting her business done. I tried to cheat and just run her out the door on her lead while I stayed inside. That way I didn't have to get dressed and could go back to bed. Unfortunatly she refused to do her business on the gravel. Sigh. So I hauled her back in and got dressed. As soon as I stepped out side I could smell the mustiness from the cabin. They must have been burning old stuff from in there. They've been cleaning it up. I'm wondering (idly) if they're new owners. Anyway, since there is no breeze we can smell it all. Musty, a little moldy. I took Rosie to the far side of our campsight, which is on the other side of the hill. Instead of climbing the knob this morning we went down the hill a little ways. There aren't many people in the campground this morning, and none close. It was new territory for Rosie so she took her time checking everything out. I was wondering what the urgency in rousting me out of bed was, since she now didn't appear to be in that big of a hurry to get her business done. @@ 

The cabin owners are still there. I can see the front bumper of their car. I guess I'll have to make that decision. I'll be looking for a couple of things: wind, its direction, and if they burn more junk. Rosie and I won't be going out much today, not unless we get a stiff breeze from the North. 

I did bring my guitar along this time. I haven't played it since 1996. One of the adverse effects of that first pesticide poisoning where I got sprayed with Monitor (an organophosphate insecticide) was that it made my skin very fragile. If I bumped it, it split open. Pressing guitar strings was no longer possible. Since I'm stuck in here today, I'll try alternating guitar playing with spinning. I made sure to download some music too. Not only is all my other music printed (and therefore toxic) I was a fragranced person, so there will be fragrance on the pages as well. I had to give up my bible for the same reasons. It wasn't just my fragrance on its pages, but the fragrances of all the perfume wearers from church! Oiy!!! Erks me. I had some really great notes in the margins! 

9:45 a.m.

David came up to warn me that the cabin people had seen a large grey wolf on the ridge above them, yesterday. Thats the place Ron and I were on Friday. We haven't seen any wolf sign, just coyote.David was concerned because Rosie and I go out walking. As the wolf lopes, thats not much distance between where he was seen and where we walk. Actually, its the same distance to our site from his lookout. I'll have to carry my gun. I asked David if the guy was sure it was a wolf and not just a coyote. Apparently it was bigger than his german shepherd. So yeah, if thats true, wolf. I'm not sure what to think about this.   I mentioned to David that I thought it was the coyote. That the coyote I'd seen was grey. But for the sake of possibility... Wolves are generally retiring. They're not as elusive as cougars. Both will try to avoid people but could be tempted to try to take a dog. I wonder if it coukd be a re-planted wolf, or a dumped hybrid? or one that's natural? Most preditors have learned that people are an easy source of food. Our garbage is their next feast. In fact I've been noticing a few oyster shells in the brush around one of the cabins. When Ron and I were out walking we spotted a garbage bag full of oyster and clam shells that some critter had been trying to drag off. Whatever it was could have been watching the campground because Monday evening of Memorial weekend was a big feast day. He could have been hoping for a repeat. Anyway, I'll keep an eye out. I'll be mulling this one over for a while. Rosie's due to come into heat next week... 

David also told me that the people in the cabin are leaving today. So I guess I get to stay until tomorrow. 

Tuesday June 3rd

Broke camp and headed for home. David stopped me on the way out. He'd had a close encounter with the coyote. He decided I was right. The cabin guy just thought it was a wolf. Things do look bigger when you're looking up hill at them. 

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