Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Achalasia Smack Down

Its 2:30 a.m.. I'm up, hunched in my chair, struggling to resolve another round of adverse reactions that started with achalasia rearing up its ugly head. All I wanted was to eat some nice green vegetables for lunch. Its not like they were raw or even close! They were well cooked brussel sprouts. I was feeling pretty good. Nomsign of regurge. It seemed like a perfect day for soft, well cooked veggies. It wasn't long after I ate them that I knew it had been a mistake. Achalasia smacked me down hard. Those bits of brussel sprout hadn't gone through. They'd piled up on top of my LES while my esophagus fought to shove yhem down. When they wouldn't go down dysphagia kicked in and it felt like they were clawing their way back up, one piece at a time. And they were sticking part way. It felt like my esophagus was working in reverse, tomsqueeze them slowly upward. It wasn't very long at all before my throat was scraped raw. But that didn't matter. I wasn't done gagging all the pieces up yet. It hadonly taken  me minutes to eat them. It took hours to expel them. 

I tried everything I could think of to ease the pain and help the process along. I drank water to ease them out. You know, kind of float them a little, and wash them out. I drank half-n-half to coat my scraped raw throat. I finally stopped regurging around 6:00 p.m.. I was tired. My throat was painfully raw. But it was over. Or so I thought. I went to bed hoping for a relatively peaceful night. Only I got woke up around one. More regurge. Stomach pain. Chest, lymph and back pain. Here we go again! 

I did all the protocols and felt a little better between 3:00-3:30. Then it resurged at "bloat." I had to try to invent a whole new set of protocals. Not sure which one(s) did it. Finally dropped off to sleep at 6:30 a.m. 

Thursday, December 3, 2015

It Was a Wonderful Thanksgiving

I haven't got to say that in years! We had a lovely time, and I didn't even get sick! Yay!!!!!! I was even able to get some of the food in, including Turkey! Yum! I feel really blessed! 😍

I'm recovering from a sick day (yesterday). I'm not certain what caused it. It could be some of the freezer bags we seal the mail in were leaking. It could be because I forgot to block the down draft on the stove after cooking the Thanksgiving dinner. It could have been something Rosie got on her fur. Or all of the above... I addressed all those, plus a few more possibilities. Sigh. Slowly crawling back out of the pit. I feel better today than yesterday, but my head is killing me.

Today my FB feed had posts that several of the groups I support are suing Monsanto for crimes against humanity. Excellent! Wish I could testify.

Monday, November 23, 2015


I'm still here. I'm extremely thankful I've made it this far. 

I honestly didn't think I'd make it out of last week. I struggle constantly with the realities of what I want to do and what I can (and what modern living allows me to) do. I wanted to be involved in my grandkids lives and do their daycare. Resolving vaccines out of their bodies made that impossible. I tried three times but by Wednesday or Thursday, each week, I'd have a life threatening health melt down. I kept thinking it would get better after each one. The last one was the worst. Other people kept blaming "the flu," but Cornell University's "Extoxnet" says "the symptoms of toxic exposures are the same as for the flu as the body has a limited amount of processes for removing toxins wether they are viral, bacterial or chemical. Toxic exposures will often present like 'the flu." Its of note that everyone else has had this same "flu" for a month. Its not viral flu guys... You are all reacting to vaccine adjuvants resolving from the children's bodies. Vaccine research (immunologists) confirm the the phenomenon. 

I'm heart broken that I don't get to see my grandkids very much. I've shared the lack of efficacy of vaccines research with my daughter. I have no idea if she reads them or not. I'm fairly certain she believes the pediatrician knows more than I do. FYI pediatricians don't receive any training on vaccines in medical school other than how to manipulate parents into staying on the vaccine schedule. My daughter views me as "just her Mom" rather than someone who's spent thousands of hours researching toxins. I'm heart broken she's made the choice to vaccinate, but I respect her right as their mother to choose. I pray they will not have huge adverse reactions. And I will do as much as I can to support their immune systems. 

In between the cookie baking and bread for stuffing making in preparation for Thursday, I continue to research and share on my Chatterbox facebook page. And I rest. I'm supposed to be resting. Thats hard. There's so much I want to do. I'll lose most of tomorrow, so I have to get as much done as I can. I'm going to the doctor's for a C drip. I get so depleted when I can't eat. I can't get anything past my LES when I get exposures. Its the most obvious difference between viral flu and toxic exposure for me.

I am thankful that both my children and their families are coming for Thanksgiving. My mother and father in law are coming too. I haven't had Thanksgiving with them in years. Not since my mother in laws doctor started her on armour thyroid. She was being way over dosed and it was resolving out of her so bad that I reacted in 10 minutes. Hopefully she's got the dose under control now.  I bought my little granddaughter a pretty new outfit. That will be fun. 😊

I'm making turkey, stuffing and gravy, and 2 pumpkin pies. My husband is making smoked salmon and mincemeat pies. He prepared the mincemeat last night. Together we'll make ham (for our daughter in law her family's traditional food), green beans and beets. My daughter brings the salad, her husband's traditional oyster stuffing, and my son-in-law does the potatoes. It will be good. I hope all of you enjoy your Thanksgiving as well. 

Monday, October 26, 2015

The Best Time of My Year

Finally! Ag season is winding down! For me, this is the best time of the year. Chemical applications are substantially decreased. I can't say 'ended' because someone may decide to drill or fumigate the soil. But there are far more days that I can actually function, and even get something done outside. Inside, too. I have a lot more energy. O' yeah, I'm finally eating again! I even ate meat! Crock pot chili. Very well cooked meat, but meat just the same. And lots of tomatoes and peppers. Finally! I'm dreaming of pizza. Maybe in November. Ahh, yummm (dream, dream)!

Yesterday I cleaned the sheep shed. I was finally able to get the rest of the wool bags stitched up and stored. I kept trying during the summer, but kept getting toxed, too much ambient pesticide. I still need to clean the chicken house. Its on the list. And lots and lots of weeding! @@

I've stitched up some new curtains for the kitchen. They are roman shades/window blankets. I'm hoping they'll last longer if they're thicker. I'm waiting on parts: Curtain cord rings. I ordered them last week, Prime, but they aren't here yet. Amazon is letting me down! I'll try to remember to post a pic when I get them hung. 

I'll be babysitting Joey and his new brother, Toby, tomorrow while "Mommy" goes to the dentist. Toby is just over a month old. Next week I'll be doing full time daycare. Well, we'll see how it goes. If I'm not up to taking care of both, Joey-boy can go to the daycare he attends when I'm not available. My daughter would like to keep Toby out of daycare as long as we can. I'm guessing that's until the first application for next season. Last year it was in January... 

Well, lots to catch up on, so I'd best get moving! :-)

Saturday, October 10, 2015

Inching Forward

Its been four and a half weeks and I'm still dragging. I've had 3 Meyer's cocktail drips and given myself weekly glute IVs. I'm still way to fragile. I'm frustrated with myself and my weakness. I decided I was going to do something. I picked the thing that required the least creative thought. I chose 'replacing the RV awnings.' It took me more than a month to figure out the right replacement fabric and get it here. I sealed them when they arrived. I can't remember if that was 1 or 2 weeks ago. Yesterday I had Ron round up the tools that I would need from his shop: The rivet gun, some rivets, the cordless drill, its charged battery and an 1/8" bit, some cotter pins. I collected my tools and parts: the awnings, the new straps, duct tape (aka the third hand), electrical tape, a file, vice grips, screw driver, box cutter, notes from watching utube videos, a hammer, punch, chisel and a 1/4" box wrench. He's gone hunting.

I started the first one (there are 2) at about 11:00. It was a bright sunny day in the 70°s. I discovered I was very porphyric and couldn't be in the sun for more than a few minutes before I was naseous and overheating. I moved as much of the project into the shade as possible. Every 5 minutes I spent in the sun, required 15 of exhausted rest. It took me an hour and a half to get that first one done. I staggered back into the house, jumped in the shower then ate several spoonfuls of honey. I washed the clothes I was wearing. The old vinyl had been deteriorating, so I they were probably covered in it. I figured I'd try to do that second one in the evening. It was around 3:30 when I realized that a nice cloud cover had come in. I threw my coveralls in the dryer and waited anxiously for them to get dry. I got back out for the second one around 4:00, and finished in 30 minutes. That was including clean up! I was still pretty wiped out. After tossing my clothes back in the washer, and taking another shower I made eggnog. Now I'm resting. I'm pretty pleased with myself. I got them done. Sigh. One more thing off my list. I have a headache. I hope I don"5 pay for this tomorrow...

Friday, September 18, 2015

And Then It Got Worse

Well, what I thought was a cold, wasn't. I got clued in when water began running out of my nose and filling my lungs. It happened slowly: A trickle, a damp cough. By the end of the day I was coughing up mouthfuls at a time, gasping for breath between them. It was another desparate fight for my life. Of course it lasted for days and cascaded from the initiating problems clear through my damaged immune system and its flawed attempt to cope. By now you probably know the drill... Its been a week. I've barely gotten any food in. Just when I think we're past the worst, another wave comes in. I couldn't get an appointment with Dr. Smith until this coming Tuesday. In the meantime, I just have to deal with it. 

I always write a post visit report concerning my reactions. It helps move us forward to resolve my issues. It was hard this time. I worry about how it will be received. Dr. Stevens has been terrific when I've brought up things that didn't work in the past. Everything he's done has been above and beyond, way beyond. His wife and son (the team) are the same. These are rare, and great people. But I've been thrown out of offices, spit on, cursed at and verbally assaulted for just telling other doctors that I can't take pharmeceiticals. I'm gun shy. I can't stop the apprehension. I tried to write a report that covered what happened, what I thought may be the problem areas, and at the same time express my appreciation and admiration of Dr. Stevens and his staff. They are the best dentist and team I've ever had! But I'm sure they have their own "gun shy" reactions. I realize that in the current climate of lawsuit crazy people, that they've got to have worries about that. I don't want them to worry about that. It isn't relevant. 

I knew going in that there would be times when things wouldn't work out, and would go terribly wrong. There always is. I tell people about it at the outset. I think many of them don't take me seriously, think I'm exaggerating, or a "hypochondriac." No, I've just lived through it before... Even if they do take me seriously, I don't think that they are prepared for how delicate the balance is, or the realities of falling off. Its the difference between watching a show about tornadoes and living through one. I can tell them, but they don't quite get it. Even the people that see the aftermath, still don't get it. 

Its taken years for my husband to "get it." Part of its my fault. I have to protest and complain about so much, to protect myself, that I keep a lot of the reactions to myself. I was worried about my report, and not offending my dentist, so I read it to my husband before I sent it. I wanted Ron to tell me if it came across as accusitory. I'm not accusing anyone. I just wanted to let them know what happened so we don't repeat the things that didn't work.  I could tell Ron was stunned. He'd had no idea what I was going through. He's not here during the day. He leaves at 7:00 a.m.. He gets back at 9:00 p.m. He sleeps at night. I try not to disturb his sleep. How would he know? He doesn't read my blog. He'd been complaing that he's the only one "working around here." I understand how he feels. I'd feel the same way. I feel guilty about not being able to help more. But since I read him the report, he hasn't been complaining... Now he just looks worried sick. I hate that too. :-( :-( :-(

Friday, September 11, 2015

Wrapping up

I didn't share with you in the last post, the number of times I broke down and cried. Me, who never used to cry at all. I'm existing at my breaking point. Too much helplessness. Too much physical, chemical assault. To much pain. Too much isolation. To me, being with my family is the most important thing. Because of how I've been injured, I've been robbed of the ability to be with them except under the most extreme accommodations. I don't get to visit my children's homes, or attend their dinners or parties. I get minimal involvement in their, and my grandkid's lives. My father is dying, and I don't even get to go see him. Its heartbreaking! Being further injured with every chemical application during the growing season, and being forced from my home is a lot like being a war refugee. By the end of the season I'm pretty fragile, both physically and emotionally. I've mentioned my PTSD before. This is the time when its most likely to rear up and overwhelm me like a river in flood. My grief, stress, and fear can careen out of control in a nano-second and for what seems like to an observer, for no apparent reason. I don't have control over it. A sight, sensation smell or even using up my energy reserves, lack of sleep or exhaustion can cause the dam to crumble or crack. I've been struggling since August. 

The night before I came home this last time is a pretty good example. As I lay down to sleep in the reverberating quiet, in the deep darkness where nothing distracts me, the harshness of my reality bludgeons its way into my consciousness. I can no longer hold it at bay. I knew the daunting amount of work I'd have to do when I got home. I bawled in shear exhaustion and despair. I knew just as surely, I didn't have it in me to get it done. Not after the mostly sleepless week I'd spent. I knew the glyphosate would still be present. I knew I'd get additional injuries. I knew that since I haven't been home to do the constant decontamination thats required for me to keep my home safe, that it too would be contaminated. Ron tries but you can't clean what you don't perceive. Then there's the sorting out and picking up the threads of my life that I had to drop when I left. Its always a huge mess. Knowing how bad its going to be is a lot like going to your own execution. Yeah, I bawled. I'm not proud of it, but its part of my reality. Omitting it doesn't give a very clear picture.

I finally fell asleep with the thought that at least I got to go home tomorrow. I tried to focus on the positive. It lasted as long as it took us to get up, have coffee, get stowed and unplugged. About 30 min. My truck battery was dead. Good thing there were no fires. I wouldn't have been unable to broom away! It was 7:00 a.m. and I was dead in the water. Mr. Bill didn't get up until sometime between 9:30 and 10:00. I never saw him before 10:00 anyway. No horn, so I couldn't honk even if I wanted to. What I ended up doing was writing him a note and taking it down to his campsight. I stuck it in his chair and weighed it down with a rock. I figured if I woke him up, he would not be very "helpful." It didn't turn out very well for me as it was. There was so much fragrance that it burned my eyes, skin and mucus membranes. Rosie and I both had to take decontaminating showers (and I changed clothes) when we got back. Eventually Mr. Bill came up and let me know he'd called the Parks Manager, Greg to come jump my battery. We eventually got out of there with strict orders not to turn off the engine until we got home! 

Its taken me until the first part of this week to get everything sorted back out. I've been watching Joey-boy, which I love, even though its physically exhausting.

I had another dental visit this Thursday. We'd had to postpone twice because of spraying. Since my daughter is due with her second child I was concerned I'd have to postpone again. I'll be watching Joey when she goes into the hospital. I felt really terrific on Thursday. I thoroughly enjoyed the 1 hour and 45 minute drive. I was even in a good enough mood to feel like singing. Unfortunately I couldn't remember the words to very many of the thousands of songs I used to know. I had to settle for the first part and the chorus to "Kisses Like Fire" and "Jeremiah Was a Bullfrog." After that, the best I could manage was "The Muffin Man." I made up my own words to the tune, since it was so lame. I thought I was doing pretty good, health wise... Unfortunately I was not emotionally prepared for getting more restorations. Somehow I was under the impression this was a follow up cleaning and materials check. It upset me. It shouldn't have, but I was still too near the edge. Then, while Dr. Stevens was taking an x-ray, I had difficulty with dysphagia and choking. I had flashbacks to some of my suffocation events. That triggered the PTSD. There I was, in the chair anxiety attack and raging emotions storming over the walls like the Uraki and Orcs in "The Last Battle." I'm shaking from head to toe on a cellular level (think vibrating) and I'm fighting to remain calm. Then tears start pouring out. Poor Dr. Stevens! I'm sure that was alarming. There I was suddenly crying for "no apparent reason." I had to ask for "a minute" to get it all back under control. I hate it when that happens, but I can't help it. Its humiliating.

Anyway, I had another gum line (and below) cavity, that I'd felt developing all summer, filled. My one really bad one from last year re-abcessed. Since I'd developed several boils (skin abscesses?) over the summer and several since I got back, I'm not at all surprised. Its got Dr. Stevens worried though. He worked on that filling a bit. He felt, since there was so much blood last time that perhaps it had gotten moisture in there. This time he used a different method that didn't include cutting. I'm not sure that its an infection, per se. What I've noticed with my damaged systems is that I have developed pathways for the congested lymph to get out. I will get boils in the same places: Behind my right ear lobe, At the top of my left ear, At the same places at the back of my skull, and shoulders, etc. It fits with the research that I've read on lymph capillary/node damage and function. So I'm thinking since there was so much damage to the lymph ducts last year, coupled with my lymphadenopathy, that this may just be a similar expression of excessive lymph congestion localized in that area. But I will make an appointment to get a C drip with Dr. Smith to help it clear. I wasn't aware it was flared up. It feels so much better that it did last year, I didn't even notice. Dr. Stevens told me I have a few more cavities. I made another appointment. Hopefully I'll be able to keep it. He'd focused on the major ones last year, so now he's working on the "smaller" ones. Though when I asked to clarify that they were just "small" the eyerolling look I got said, "smaller!" Bummer. I was hoping that was all. I got a better score on my overall condition, though not where either of us wants it yet. Its really going to be tough to get my overall health back up to a level where I don't have to work as hard to keep my teeth and gums healthy. I'm not there yet. :-( 

I took a wild detour on the way home. I was trying to go by the health food store and took the wrong exit. I was "misplaced' for about 30 min. Not lost, but not where I wanted to be. I finally got home, weary to the bone. I did nothing but rinse with salt water and take it easy the rest of the day. 

I woke up with a sinus infection and a cold. Over did it yesterday. Always on the edge. Phphphphhhhhht! :-p (raspberry)

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Smokey Mountain Air

Monday, 8/17/15

We had to evacuate again. That's better than the unannounced exposures that have been going on since I got back in June. The County Vector Control found a bunch of mosquitos that were positive for West Nile Virus, just up the road from me. He gave me a call 4 days in advance, which I truly appreciate. I had plenty of time to get organized and loaded. They spray in the evening so I didn't have to bust out of there at the crack of dawn. I left it too late though. It was so warm the RV heated up pretty bad enroute. Normally, I can't run the cab air in the ag zone. It draws air from the outside. Its so smokey, I can't run it at all. We used the new Heat Pump to cool the RV once we got here and set up. It worked well and was so much quieter than the old AC. Its still loud but its the sound of rushing air.  

There are wild fires burning all over the Pacific Northwest, so the whole state is blanketed in smokey haze. Its heavier up here at Anson-Wright, but still better for me than down in the valley. Around my home there's so much pesticide trapped in by the smoke that my mucus membranes burn whenever I go outside or someone opens a door. Its smokey here, but at least it doesn't burn.

Rosie and I are the only ones up here for the week. Being the only people is both good and bad. No one to poison me, but so very lonely and desolate. There aren't even any birds. Birds are very sensitive to air pollution, so the smoke has driven them away. Somehow that makes it worse. We've been out on several short walks. The haze thins in the afternoon. The forest is crispy dry. It sounded like walking on cereal flakes. On our last walk of the day there were two deer in the meadow below us. They were a bright yellow gold, like winter tamaracks. I knew deer changed color over the year, but I'd never seen it this dramatic. There was a deer in a field on the drive up that was the same color. 

Tuesday, 8/18/15

I slept in 'till 9:00. I hadn't turned on any heat so it was very cold in the night. I had regurg trouble and didn't sleep well. The haze had returned this morning. Rosie and I had a nice morning walk. I was just getting a pot of coffee on when the camp host, Mr. Bill, came up to see me. He couldn't hear me through the glass, so I had to write notes on my ipad. Ron had called. Apparently there's more spraying to be done on Friday. I don't know who or what. Mr. Bill was going to call Ron back and get specifics. And here I'd thought it was going to be a short stay. I'm supposed to put together a grocery list for additional supplies. Thats hard to do at the beginning of the week, and when I don't know how long I'll be up here. 

I was looking at the next step in my solar panel project, but I think I'll need to make a slight detour and do a couple of other small projects first. I need a cell range booster and a wifi booster. I have reception for neither here. I don't think the boosters would do me any good at this location, but they would at Cutsforth or the OHV in the winter. I'm tucked into a draw here. Not at the bottom, but snug against the side of the hill, and back in the trees, too. Regardless, I won't be making any progress on those projects, while I'm up here. Even the little ones. I need to finish my internet research for the boosters. I'm in the middle of looking at the WifiRanger, it clamps onto the TV antennae, so it can be raised and lowered. Its got a range of 2 miles. I haven't narrowed down the cellphone booster list yet. 

The solar project was at: remove LP tank. Thats definitely something to hire done, or have Ron do. While I'm having that done I'll need to get rid of gas lines to the fridge, furnace and stove. Then it diverges to another project, I can take out the stove and furnace and rebuild the counter and cupboard... Once the LP tank is gone, I need to build the battery bank bay there. Or, since I should consider weight distribution, should I build a sealed battery bank where the furnace is, that's accessed through the exterior furnace vent panel? Or perhaps install a chest freezer under the bench seat? Lots of factors to consider...

Anyway, at least I brought my carding and spinning project. I'm working on the wool for the blanket for my RV bed. I'm at the carding stage. I'll be here awhile. Hopefully I can get a lot of it done. Good thing I brought lots of movies. Carding is mindless. I'm also crocheting a new pair of slippers out of home spun. I made a beautiful pair with dark teal mercerized cotton last time. I had no idea the process for mercerizing was toxic. Who knew!? I can't even wear them. The chemical absorbs through the soles of my feet and I'm crippled in one day! It makes me wonder about all those other people with swollen ankles and painful feet. Could it be the nasty synthetic materials of their slippers, shoes and socks and no one's connected the dots? I know I can't wear that stuff. 

Mr. Bill came back for my grocery list (I'd left it on the picnic table) and to let me know Ron would most likely be here tomorrow. 

I spent the rest of the day alternating between reading, hiking, crocheting and watching movies. Its 8:00p.m. and still 70°. I'll set the heat pump to come on at 63° for when it gets so cold at night. Hopefully I'll sleep better. 

Wednesday, 8/19/15

I slept a few hours. It was too hot the first part of the night. Then I woke up in the middle of the early morning hours, waiting to see what would happen when the Heat Pump came on. I was worried about it being toxic on this other setting. I could smell a little bit of new, hot coil. I'm hoping my reactions won't be too bad. My mucus membranes are burning again. Everything else seems o.k. so far. The Heat Pump did keep the RV at a very even temperature. It was loud enough to wake me when it cycled on. I hope I get used to that.

It was clearer when we went out this morning. It wasn't very long until two semi-s came down the highway and slowed for the turn off. They didn't slow much and rode the gravel shoulder for the first 1/4 mile. Its hazy again, but its dust. I came back in from our walk sneezing, with a runny nose.

I've been thinking about some Youtube videos I watched while researching wifi extenders last weekend. I got distracted by solar panels. :-} heh, heh.  They were from a professional series called, "Gone With the Wynns." I must confess to a bit of jealousy. Their much newer, luxurious motorhome (40'+ diesel pusher, class A) with all the bells and whistles certainly made RVing look so easy. And when they did an upgrade, like adding solar panels, they had all that tech support, and didn't have to worry about toxins. I'm guessing they got really good deals on the equipment, since each upgrade episode amounted to an infomercial. The Wynns were a young 20 something couple, slim, attractive, full of health and vitality. So "not me." It made it hard to relate to them. If they were doing a video series on me (old, disabled) and my RV (30' 1998 class C Georgie Boy) they'd have to call it, "Gone with Grandma" or just plain "Gone." Don't get me wrong, I love my motorhome, but Rosie, my Hamster Ball and I are nothing like the Wynns and their luxury RV. The info was helpful, like when they reviewed their flexible, flat solar panels at a year, but I just can't relate to the couple. I'm guessing the funding group is trying to promote RVing to a younger audience. Or maybe they don't think anyone would watch an older couple... The reality is, its mostly retirees and middle-agers that live the RVers life. Most younger people I do see have campers, pull behinds and 5th wheels. When I got it all sorted out, I realized I was jealous of the ease of their life. I so long to not be disabled, and to not have to do everything I have to, just to preserve my life and hack out one step forward. The reality is, I don't live in an RV because I want to. I don't enjoy a nomadic lifestyle. I live in an RV because its the best solution to some of my problems at this time. 

I dumped the waste water in the morning. I had to take a wasp nest out of the furnace exhaust first. It was right above the bin with the sewer hose. I used a squirter bottle with water, alcohol and a tiny amount of detergent, my general purpose cleaner. It incapacitated the wasp. I only saw one. He fell down and I stepped on him. Then I dug the nest out with a stick. No heroics. No danger. Just done. 

I spent the rest of the time between walks working on my slippers. I'm writing the pattern as I go along. I've completed 2 soles, and the back of the upper of one slipper forward as far as the arch on both sides.

Meals have been pretty basic. Breakfast is coffee. Lunch is homemade yogurt and vitamins. For dinner, I've been working on a pint of broccoli since I got here. I've been eating a cup of broccoli cheese soup every afternoon. I finished it today. Its staying down pretty good now.

I got so bored I read the spec manual on my RV. I have a PDF copy. I found a great little nugget of info, if I run it on A/C Max it recircs the inside air. No outside air! No more sweltering road trips! Yeah!

Thursday, 8/20/15

Ron came around 8:00 last night. Its a busy week for him. He has meetings out of town today and then has to run down to the valley, to work on the duplex. He brought news about the fires. One of the places I looked at buying last year burned to the ground. I felt bad for the girl that bought the place. They lost 9 homes in that fire. It burned 97,000 acres. In the fire by John Day they've lost over 30 homes. Apparently the fires are all still burning. The smoke has cleared out of this area because of a barometric pressure ridge. No rain in the forecast. 

It was the "new guy" farming right across the road from the house, who sprayed glyphosate. He did give us 2 days notice. He called Ron Monday. He had it scheduled for yesterday morning, and they got it done. It'll be a week from Saturday before I can go home. 

I slept better last night. I waited until 10:30 to switch from cool to heat. The heat pump did wake me at 4:00 a.m. Its loud. I'm still smelling a tiny bit of "hot new coil." It got me sneezing and my nose running. I might go back to the space heater for the nights until I can run it while I'm not in here and break it in. 

I had dogfood coming by UPS, but it didn't get here in time for Ron to bring it up. I did have Ron bring extra burger for Rosie. She's quite pleased about it. She's insisting she needs bigger servings. LOL, I'm keeping them smaller to start, and more frequent, so she doesn't get diarrhea. The last thing I want is to be awakened at 2:00 a.m. with a desperate, cold, boogie nose shoved in my eye by an imminently explosive dog.

I had Ron bring up the rest of the Roofguard, with the groceries. I noticed some low spots I want to level out. I'm waiting for it to warm up so I can work up there. 

10:48 a.m.

I got my roof work done. I think I'll put another coat on in three days. I also got in a shower, and another walk. Since I showered, I'll have to fill the fresh water. That Wynn lady said she "has to have her shower everyday." They were boondocking. Where does she get the water? Her poor husband must spend a lot of time filling the fresh and emptying the gray water tank. I've read that lots of RVers just let the grey run out on the ground. If they use toxic personal care products, eeewww! That would contaminate the groundwater. Not nice. They actually never mentioned those kind of things in the video. That's one of the reasons I think its promoting RVing. They leave out the "chores and maintenance." Here's just my small item maintenance list. I have a project list and a list for Ron (its either toxic or takes big muscles).

My To Do List

Clean shower drain
Fix leaky kitchen faucet
Oil fan blades on HP
Fill old paper towel rack's screw holes
Level front corners and left rear corner of roof with roofguard
Put connection sleeves into sewer hose and screw band them
Figure out Wifi and cell boosters
Figure out where, and mount the TV
Hook up indicator light on water heater switch. 

I add to it continually.

9:46 p.m. I finished one slipper, then spent the rest of the day carding wool and watching the original BBC Chronicals of Narnia. Love the guy in the beaver suit, LOL every time. 

Friday, 8/21/15

I slept wonderfully! I did switch to the space heater. I didn't even wake up until after 8:00 a.m.. There are clouds in the sky this morning. I'm praying for rain. The birds are back. I noticed a pine jay and 2 nuthatches yesterday evening. They were the first we'd seen. This morning the camp is teaming with robins, jays, chickadees and the like. They are zipping through the air, running along the ground, squabbling over bits of "treasure." I didn't realize how much I missed them until they were back. The world is much more joyous with birds in it. 

The chore for today is filling the fresh water and filtering some drinking water. I might even tackle cleaning the bathtub drain. I probably need a washer for the kitchen sink, so I'll wait on it. 

I'm back in from doing the fresh water. I did the floors while I was at it, tracked in mess you know. Then realized I needed to add to my list: Crochet 3 more 1/2 gal water jar "no clink covers." And why not do some for the quarts? And then why not for the food jars with windows so I can see what it is and if it needs replacing (cocoa, oats, etc.). I keep them in glass because of mice... Anyway, you can see how my list keeps growing. :-}

Well, I worked on crocheting for a little while, its something to do while resting, then tackled the bath drain. Ugh. There was still Sonia hair in there from when she'd have diarrhea in the night and I'd wash her up in the tub, all those years ago. No poo, but the hair didn't dissolve or go down the drain. There was some of my hair too. I need to add a hair strainer to my shopping list. It took me 45 min. digging around in the drain with a thin crochet hook to get it all out. Good thing I travel with a full compliment of sizes. 

I had to rest/crochet some more, then followed up the bathtub cleaning with washing Rosie's sani-belt (she's finally quit spotting), and some clothes for me. Separately, of course. Not like its exciting or anything, just the daily living in an RV. I like to keep everything "topped off" in case someone else comes, and we get restricted to mostly staying inside, especially over the weekend.

The clouds blew away without dropping any rain here. Hopefully they unloaded in one of the fire areas.  Its cooler today. Rosie and I went out for another walk before I finally had my yogurt and vitamins. My stomach's been unsettled since yesterday afternoon. I tried some beef vegetable soup that I had in the freezer. Unfortunately it was the batch that I'd added savory too. I think savory makes me regurg. It happened the last time I ate it, too.  Rosie, however, is thrilled. She's getting beef/veg soup with her raw burger, yogurt and kibble. 

More crocheting this afternoon. I made all 3 of the 1/2 gal sleeves I needed. Thats done. One more thing off my list. I'm out of yarn so no quart sleeves until I can raid my stash (at home) for scraps. I had carrot soup for supper. No problems. Its 6:00 p.m. And so far, no other guests. Of course they could still show up, but so far, so good. I have all the windows and vents open to catch the breezes and air it out in here. Since it was still early and I didn't feel like starting that other slipper, Rosie and I went out and duct taped (white) the furnace exhaust that the wasp was building a nest in. Once a wasp starts a nest it becomes attractive to other wasps. I don't want to be not paying attention and get stung by a new resident.  

7:30 p.m. Freedom is over. Rosie and I were out walking and singing when a camper drove in. I have no idea why but with all the other vacant spots in the campground he had to pick a spot 3 away from me. Bummer. I never know wether they will be toxic, or not, considerate or not, and my anxiety level ratchets up considerably. I always hope they're nice and non-toxic, or at least only stay till Sunday...

Saturday, 8/22/15

We got up at 6:30 a.m. so I could potty Rosie with the least amount of exposure. I put on a different set of clothes, and wore a mask, in case it was contaminated outside.  It was. It smelled like petroleum products. Dirty motor oil or oil based paint and thinners, sort of. They're probably using LP. Anyway, my mucus membranes are burning. My throat is raw. I put out my cones while we were out, too. I should have done it yesterday before anyone came. I changed clothes when I came back inside and bagged them up. I'm running the UV purifier. There's no breeze this morning.

Rosie enjoyed her burger and veggie soup breakfast. I'm enjoying my coffee. I had a little regurg trouble when I came back in. I was afraid my coffee wouldn't stay down. I did a little coconut oil pulling first. That helped. So far I'm keeping my coffee in just fine. Now I need to pick an activity so the incarceration doesn't drag. 

9:51 a.m.
The smoke has come back. It wasn't very bad when we went out but its come back now. The air is thick with it. I can't even see the hillside across the canyon. I can smell the smoke even with the RV closed up and the purifiers running. The other campers got in their truck and drove off somewhere leaving their camper behind. 

11:00 a.m.
The smoke seems heavier than before. I took a pic but it doesn't show how bad it really is. The camera filters automatically cleaned up the image. Its hard not having outside information. I don't know how far away the fire is. I stowed everything, just in case.  Its getting hard to breathe. I have asthma, and its giving me trouble. I'm wishing I hadn't put out those cones, in case I have to leave to find someplace less smokey. I don't know if its the same over the rest of the state, and I don't know where I could go. The whole Pacific Northwest (Washington, Oregon, Idaho, has fires). Fires are burning in California, Canada and Alaska, too. 

11:25 a.m 
The wind has come up a bit. I listened to the NOA weather forecast over my CB. It was pretty scratchy. I could make out that there were "areas of smoke" all over, even in town and lower elevations. I couldn't tell what he said about the winds except they switched to the N or NE in the afternoon. I tried hooking up the TV, with the antennae up. Nothing. I tried the regular radio. All I got was one FM station of oldies Christian music. I'm wearing my VOC mask inside. Its helping a little. The campground is still sepia toned through the haze of smoke. Ron said something about the weather going to be bad this weekend, with higher winds. This must be what he meant. Its not helping the fire fighters and its blowing a lot of smoke this way. 

12:15 p.m.
My wind indicators, the black tree hair lichen, are beginning to shift directions in fitful little bursts.

Well, the wind switching eventually made it more smokey. Sigh. It doesn't seem to bother the other campers. They came back, and another group came in, just as I was trying to sneak Rosie out for a potty break. We had to abort, but they seem to be having a good time. The kids are running around playing. I guess it works out. We have to stay in because of the smoke, anyway. 

5:00 p.m. I managed to sneak Rosie out during a small lull in the smoke, and put away my cones. The kids seem to be very nice and left us well alone. I've had kids run over and want to pet Rosie before, so I was apprehensive. We went through the "outside clothes procedure." As the evening wore on it seemed to be getting even worse. One good thing, the smoke seems to be blocking the petroleum smell. Or maybe its the wind blowing it away. Another benefit seems to be that there is so much smoke, there are no mosquitos, so no deet. I'd rather have smokey air than pesticided air.

I decided to work on that second slipper while watching "The Hobbit, part one," and dang! if I didn't break my crochet hook!

Sunday, 8/23/15

I woke up at 3:00 a.m. Coughing and choking up snot and fluid from my lungs (asthma), and overheating with "detox." I could smell smoke inside again. Yes, both air purifiers and the heater/filter are running. I looked out the window and the nearby camper's porch light was barely discernible through the thick smoke. The night before I'd thought that light was annoyingly bright. The asthma set off my regurg so I was up for most of the rest of the night. It was a good opportunity to spend time in prayer. I went ahead and got up once it was light out, around 6:00. I put on my outside clothes and mask and took Rosie out. It was much, much clearer this morning. I was and am relieved! 

I'm hoping this means the firefighters got some of the fires out! Praise God! Ron fought forest fire for the state for 9 years when he was young. I met him during that time. It was hard, dangerous work. My father-in-law also fought fires for the feds. One time a wall of flames sprung up around his crew, suddenly cutting them off. They nearly died. It is very dangerous, and courageous work. My prayers are with the fire crews. If they got even some of the fires out, I'd be so pleased. 

Rosie and I also saw the yellow doe and her two fawns while we were out. I'm tired and shakey from wrestling my particular demons in the night. I'm drinking coffee and will probably take a nap.

I dug around in my craft supplies and found another size D hook, yeah! Oh, bummer! Its a different size. It says its a D, but its bigger. :-(  Its from a different company. 

A cow and her 2 year old calf wandered by headed down hill. They got out of their fence. I hollered at the guy in the camper, who was headed t'ward the office, to tell the camp host about them. It would be bad if they wandered out on the highway. Those campers left before 10:00. The day continued with just a light haze of smoke.

I spent the day working on making a vent diffuser for the main A/C vent in the galley. It freezes you if you stand under it, and not much air goes out the other ceiling vents. The kitchen's so small that if you're in there, you are directly under the vent. It took me until about 2:00 p.m. to get it right. With a good deal of effort, my wrist was sore from crocheting, and the cover wouldn't go back on, I got it installed and all put back together. Then I saw the cow and her calf wandering back up the hill. Apparently my message didn't get to Mr. Bill. I took Rosie out and followed them up the road behind the campground. I figured someone had left the gate open or the cow and her calf had knocked it down. Only when we got up there it was closed. Hmmm. They must have busted out somewhere else. The cows ran off along fence on the top of the hill, t'ward the entrance and Rosie and I went back down the road. I didn't feel up to clambering through thickets, and that would only spook the cows further. Now I had a problem. Mr. Bill is hard of hearing. If I honk, he may not hear me. I decided to try to see how close to the main office I could get. We passed the cow and her calf again. They'd dropped down the hill into the campground and were grazing next to one of the picnic tables. We stopped on the knoll above the office and spent several minutes whistling, and hollering to get Mr. Bill's attention. He came around to the bottom of the hill were he could see us and I pointed out the escapees. He immediately recognized the problem. The campground sits right off the narrow curving old highway. The gate is open right onto it. Big rigs and RVs doing 55 mph wouldn't be able to stop in time. Hitting a cow can total a rig and kill people in smaller vehicles. Rosie and I went back to our RV. :-) Mr. Bill went to notify the rancher, then keep the cow away from the entrance until they arrived. 15 minutes later I saw Mr. Bill drive around to this side of the cows to prevent them from eluding the ranchers.  In a few more minutes he continued over the hill. Problem solved.

I made pumpkin custard. Rosie and I are back on our walking schedule, without having to change clothes. It has been a much better day. The evening is closing in and there still isn't much smoke. Much better.

Monday, 8/24/15

Ah, a lovely nights sleep! I didn't get up till 8:15. The haze is the same this morning as it was last night. After my coffee and meds I'm planning on putting on the last coat of Roofguard. 

As I'm sitting here drinking my coffee it seems as though the haziness is increasing. There isn't much wind. That might be why I'm seeing more smoke. Looks like I'll wait on the Roofguard. Change of plans. Today will be about carding and spinning. 

1:30 p.m.
Mr. Bill came up to get my list. He said Ron called, someone else sprayed. It will be another week. Then he said he'd come back for an updated list. Realistically, it will be another 10 days. I am dismayed. 

Mr. Bill told me I could leave my garbage out on the picnic table and he'd throw it away for me.  Rosie and I went out and picked up the trash we'd noticed on our walks. Chunks of plastic, cigarette butts, string, rope, old bandaids, junk like that.  Mr. Bill must have spotted the duct tape because it was gone.  He came back, cleaned up the trash out of the fire pits, told me when Ron would be coming, and took my updated list and the trash away. I'm grieving. Its hard enough being forced to leave my home, its worse when I'm forced to stay away longer. The loneliness is horrible. 

Tuesday, 8/25/15

Another morning. A little less haze. I'll wait until 9:30 or 10:00 to decide about the roof. Yesterday afternoon turned out quite nice. There still was a little bit of haze, though. I can't do the roof in the evening. It needs to stay above 50°F for 6-8 hours to set up. But there were lots of birds. This area must be the least hazy, so they are migrating here.

In the night something came down by the campground. Rosie got me up. She wanted out.  I thought she had to go potty so I just ran her out the door on her lead. I smelled something weird. I couldn't quite place it. Kind of like aloe vera and watermelon. It was plant based, not synthetic. Rosie wasn't alarmed, just checking it out. She was staring and sniffing, nose up, t'word the road to the gate above the camp. She reeked of it when she came back in. It wasn't immediately harmful, but I was up with mild detox at 3:00 a.m. 

We found a few more bits of junk on the ground when we went for our walks: a red WD-40 tube, some duct tape, some bits of electrical wire, some plastic packaging. I put them in fire pit 2. A bunch of those cigarette butts I found yesterday had lipstick on them. It seems incongruous to me to be out in the forest, wearing bright red lipstick, and smoking like a fiend.  Just sayin'.

10:54 a.m.
It continued only lightly hazy so I suited up in my roof clothes, gathered my tools and supplies and clambered up. Hmmm, that sounds too agile. It was more like hoisted myself onto the first step, pockets bulging with supplies, coveralls resisting all movement, and drug myself topside. I suppose I should have taken my medicines first but I didn't want to miss the opportunity. When I got up there I was extremely pleased to see how well the first application had cured. I'd put it on really thick and was expecting some deep cracking. That's why I've been anxious about getting back up there. Only there wasn't any! I'm really pleased and impressed with this product! I put on another layer. It only took about 10 minutes, then I came back in and took my shower. :-) That always makes me happy. Though it used a third of my fresh water, and both the black and grey are in the red. I'll have to dump and fill again. That will be this afternoon, or tomorrow morning. I put my dirty clothes in the sink, in soapy water to soak, started my meds and Rosie and I took a walk. Then we came back in, I finished my meds with yogurt and laid down for a nap. No thrills, just marking the time.

1:40 p.m.
Whew! I'm pooped. I filled the drinking water jars, then the fresh water tank. I put away the hose and filters. Then I emptied the sewer tanks, cleaned the sewer drain hose and put it away. Rosie kept me company, lying in pine needles and those sticky little hulls.  Before I could take her back inside she needed to be brushed out. With that done we returned to the coach and I began putting it back together. The drinking water is stored under one of the dinette benches. I had had all the cushions and decking up to access it. It makes the RV looked trashed. I put the filled water jars back in their carriers and returned the decking and cushions. Next, the coach needed a good sweeping. I finished up with rinsing out and hanging my laundry in the shower, and lastly, putting enzymes in the tanks. Time for another nap. Chores may be boring to read about but they are an excellent remedy for actual boredom and loneliness. :-} I must be improving. I got it all done in one day. 

The weather is clear and hardly any haze at all. There is a nice breeze blowing. I have clean air to breathe. I'm safe, cool during the day and warm at night. I have food, water and bathroom facilities. I have clothes to wear, things to do and DVDs to watch. And I have Rosie for company. I'm pretty blessed.

Disabled old ladies should not run. Rosie and I were out walking around and heard gravel crunching on the entrance drive behind us. I looked back and a white truck with a flat bed was headed our way. I ran for the safety of the RV. It took me 10 minutes to stop huffing and puffing. Well, there was a little excitement.@@

I got a nice surprise! Ron had a meeting up in Heppner, so he came on up to see me. We had a nice visit. He double checked my list. He'll be back tomorrow. He warned me they had thunderstorms and lightening strikes last night at home and above Heppner. Six fires were touched off above Heppner, 3 around home. He said, "If there's any thunder storms, stay up and watch for fires and get out if there's a strike. No one is watching for them at night. They're moving really fast because its so dry." He said if I even see any sign of fire drive off and drag my electrical plug behind. Great. @@ I'll probably just unhook at night and plug back in in the mornings. I'd be afraid I'd spark another fire if I drove off with it plugged in. 

Wednesday, 8/26/15

Last night I checked the evening sky, not a cloud in sight. I didn't unplug. I did put up all the awnings and stow everything just in case a storm came up in the middle of the night. I turned off all the purifiers, so I could hear any storms before they got close, and took the vent cushion out, so I'd wake up if there were any flashes. There weren't. I did periodically crack one eye open to check, too. Weather wise it was a peaceful night.

Dream wise, totally different. I had nightmares all night about my getting hurt from exposures and collapsing. I couldn't breathe and was hemorrhaging because of endocrine disrupting chemicals. I was calling for help, and everyone was just walking by ignoring me. PTSD. Must have been brought on by anxiety. 

10:00 a.m.
Its a deer day. It started with seeing the doe and her fawns in the meadow down below. Then later they circled around and came up the road to our part of the park. They found a nice spot to sun themselves on the slope, next to a thicket right out in front of the RV. A fourth deer, bigger than the doe, but I didn't see any horns, walked right by our picnic table. Well, until Rosie saw him and hit the glass barking. The doe and the fawns didn't appear concerned with Rosie's theatrics. They continued sunning themselves. When Rosie and I went out for our walk they trotted up the hill. 

3:00 p.m.
I watched DVDs, did some spinning and cleaned the windows and back splashes. I sterilized the glass jars for 1/2 n 1/2, that Ron will be bringing, and Rosie and I went out on several walks. 

5:00 p.m. 
Rosie spotted the deer again, creeping through the timber and circling around behind us.

6:30 p.m.
Ron arrived and brought supplies. He washed up and changed clothes so Rosie and I could visit with him while he ate. He told me there was a stock market crash. 1000 points. He shared the news of our kids and friends. We walked around the campground and visited some more. He also told me that there aren't any reservations for the next week, until the following Thursday. I'll get out of here next Wednesday, so that should be good. He also told me that Mr. Bill was annoyed that he had to relay messages. He told Ron to get me a Sat phone. SMH, it wouldn't work in this location anyway. Ron left around 8:30 p.m. 

Thursday, 8/27/15

We passed a quiet night. It is a little more hazy this morning. We heard a strange screechy noise when we went out so Rosie could potty. A deer ran from where the sound came from and up the hill, then stopped. I would have thought cougar, except the deer stopped running, and the sound wasn't quite right. So what was it? I don't think deer make that kind of noise. It was somewhat like a hawk screech, but not quite. Then I smelled urine, but I don't know which kind. A mystery!

I saw the doe and her fawns running for all they were worth. I started searching for the reason. Two horseman are coming! They are driving that cow and calf pair. I don't know if they had had her penned up, or if she came through the fence again. The cow and her calf went up the hill. One cowboy went up the hill after her, the other stopped right behind our camper. In a little while the cow and calf came back down. The horseman behind us followed them down the hill. There is a gate down below. The cowboy that went up the hill did not come back down. It could be that the screech we heard was the sound of the barbed wire gate. A horseman could have been up there checking the gate before they drove the cows. He could have let himself through. I heard 2 separate screeches. One to open, one to close? Then he could have ridden around by the road to the other end of the camp, and with the other guy, drove the cows back this way. The horseman that went down the road, came back and rode out of the campground. Several minutes later I saw their truck and livestock trailer leave. Mystery solved and a little morning entertainment. :-)

10:00 a.m.
When we went out for our walk we heard the hooting of hunters signaling in the woods. They are scouting for bow season. It begins in a week. Unless the Governor accedes to the petition to delay it a month due to the fire danger. Baker County Commissioners submitted a request.  

I've gotten one project completed with the supplies Ron brought. I screwed the hook side of the velcro to the rim of the cutout above the cab. Its for the privacy curtain. I'd used industrial strength adhesive velcro, but it didn't hold.  I screwed in each end of the 4 evenly spaced strips I'd added. The four circles that were there already weren't enough. I used safe caulk as glue, to reinforce it. I've duct taped it until it dries. I also filled those screw holes where the paper towel rack used to be. When the caulk sets up, I'll color it with art pencils to blend in, then seal it. Ron brought me a new size D crochet hook. I guess I'll work on that for awhile. 

We went out for our afternoon walk and jumped the deer out of their beds again. They ran up the hill to the road. They stopped on the edge of the road to watch us as we meandered around our section of the park. When we were making our way back to the RV, past their favorite bedding place I herd that screechy sound again. Twice. I looked up to see the deer moving quickly up the upper slope. I'm trying to see if anyone comes down then hill, like through the gate or not. If not, could deer possibly make that noise?! That will be one to ask Ron... (No one ever did.)

There are a few clouds and its getting a little muggy. Its looking hazy again. Hoping for rain, not thunderstorms. I finished the other slipper.

All the clouds cleared off by 8:00 p.m. I made my preparations, just in case, and went to bed.  Suddenly I was awoken by a loud rumbling and the dog barking like crazy (If you missed when I fell asleep, I did too).  It took me a moment or two to realize it was a desiel engine. I peeked out the window. Make that 2 trucks, one pulling a camper. They fussed and carried on, picking a spot, and setting up for a good half hour. It was 10:30 p.m. Quiet settled in but Rosie and I found it hard to get back to sleep.

Friday, 8/28/15

We got up early to get out side safely. I needed to fill the drinking water jars before the weekend, too. I was surprised to see the new neighbors were up and having coffee around their patio table before Rosie was done with her business. I couldn't smell them so I'm hopeful this will be a good weekend. It's an elderly couple, 70s I'd guess, and a 50 something man. Since they set up their own wrought iron patio table I'm guessing they're going to be here awhile.

Its cloudy this morning. High solid grey clouds. There is a hint of moisture in the air, teasing us with possibilities of rain. I've been praying for it, as I'm sure many others have. It would be glorious if God answered our prayers and bathed this dry land with rain. 

5:16 p.m.
It stayed cloudy all day, but no rain yet. A second camper pulled in a short time ago. They're down by the restrooms. I worked on the second of a pair of cotton split toe socks that I was making last winter. Its knitted on size 0 needles and uses cotton thread. When they started applying last winter I lost vision and coordination so I hadn't been able to work on it. I was almost finished with it. Today I realized I'd messed up last winter and had to rip it back to the heel. O' well.

Another camper just arrived. He drove up here, then down by the meadow, the out past the restrooms. He may not have stayed.

On our last trip outside for the evening the campers by the meadow used something toxic. Its giving me problems. :-(

Saturday, 8/29/15

It was another sleepless night. Whatever it was they used, it felt like I was being bitten by ants and they were crawling all over me with their scratchy, itchy feet. I went to bed with a pituitary headache that felt like a bad head butt. My eyes burned and grated like they were full of sand. My mucus membranes are burning. My scalp,and back exuded gravel all night long. 

Another truck arriving roused us up around 10:00 p.m.. It joined the group by the meadow. At 4:00 a.m. I was awakened by what sounded like a brief rain shower. Just a smattering. Though when I finally gave up and got out of bed, that torturous rack, it was just a shower of pine needles. The wind is blowing about 20 knots, warm and dry, and needles, cones and twigs are falling. I also discovered I was definitely experiencing visual disturbances.  So, 6:00 a.m., dog pottied, coffee drunk, and eyes feeling like they've been cheese grated, I'm up and watching promising looking rainclouds racing by.

11:00 a.m.
I colored the patched screw holes. Who would have thought that colored pencils are toxic? Not me. Wrong again. 

4:15 p.m.
That was a hard lesson! Have you ever watched those cascading domino stunts? That's what running out of glutathione is like for me. I feel the symptoms rise and it turns into a cascading series of very bad system failures. I have to recognize that I'm having one and do something about it in time to stop the cascade. Its horrifying. My body is collapsing and I have to fight it and do the right thing. I don't always know what that is. I tried several things that should have worked, and then ended up giving myself a shot of IV glutathione. Never easy, worse when you're collapsing. Its scary too, because there's nobody but me to save me. I'm still feeling sick and exhausted. Next I'll shower and wash the dog...

6:45 p.m.
You know how I've told you before that the more exposures I get the more sensitive I get? Well for the last couple of days I keep smelling whiffs of WD-40.  I just thought it was the HP, breaking in, etc. Well, I got to the extreme sensitivity stage and I could really smell it. I tracked it down to the window well next to where I sit! The only reasonable explanation I can come up with is it is probably from a previous owner and got reactivated when I cleaned the window wells with alcohol so vigorously a few days ago! @@ I've said before how extremely frustrating it is to have this condition. The harder I work to get ahead the more it bites me in the ass! SMH

Sunday, 8/30/15

A good night's sleep! Ahhhhhh. I was going to get up early and do water, but I was feeling so good, I couldn't make myself. It turned out o.k.. The neighbors slept in too. It smelled like rain when I went out, even though we didn't get any. Since the humidity is up, the forest floor isn't crunchy anymore. Another beautiful cloudy day. I forgot to say that during all the trauma yesterday I looked out to see great big thunderheads in the sky. "O' great!" I thought. The last thing I felt capable of dealing with in that moment was a lightening strike.
The storm didn't break, thank God! 

We got the waters done. I'm still trying to clean off remnants of WD-40. I smeared it with dishsoap and left it for awhile. I've cleaned it again with alcohol, several times. I'll keep at it until all I can smell is glass and wood. I still have that window well sealed with duct tape. I won't open it up until I get home, and can really give it a thorough cleaning, and not have to live in it!

I did the floors, and this time washed them. I'd just sat down for a rest when Rosie said she needed to go out. We put on our jackets and opened the door to RAIN! Yes, real rain. Soft and sprinkling. The smell was heavenly. Each raindrop landing on thirsty ground sent up a tiny bit of dust. The mixed rain and dust smell was worthy of rejoicing. We took our time, enjoying the gentle shower, and thanking God for answered prayer. A great way to spend a Sunday. The neighbors probably thought I was nuts. Rosie, from their oerspectivd, is just the hapless companion of a nutty woman. ;-) The shower is so light, you can't even tell its raining from the inside of the RV. Its falling straight down so it hadn't even hit the windows. We couldn't even hear it on the roof. Its picking up now.  I hope it continues thru out the day.  

1:13 p.m. 
The neighbors left. Mr. Bill came up from the office and reminded them that check out time was 11:00. They finally managed it at a quarter till 1:00. As they were saying their goodbyes I finally saw the people who were in the last truck. A younger man (30s) and a woman.  Rosie and I waited for their fumes to dissipate and then went out for a lovely walk. We left the door open to air out the RV thoroughly. When we got back inside, I took another shower and lathered up my hair real good, incase it was holding WD-40 stink.

8:00 p.m
We spent the rest of the day taking walks, watching Monk episodes and I worked on the split toe sock. 

Monday, 8/31/15
Another good nights sleep, :-) though I woke with a headache. This morning dawned crisp and clear, with only a few scattered clouds. Rosie kept her first outside trip short. She was anxious to get back inside for her breakfast. Sadly, her burger hasn't thawed yet and she only got the kibble portion. 

9:22 p.m.
I finished the split toe socks. Then I went out and filtered more drinking water, just in case we get early bow hunters. I left Rosie inside because I wanted to check the roof. I'd heard lots of thumps, etc, over the last few days and I wanted to clear it off before we left, so we didn't create any road hazards. There were 8" drifts of pine needles up there. They were banked against every vent cover and obstacle. The space between the roof and the big patio awning was packed with them. There were only a few sticks and one fir cone. I cleaned them all off. Then I noticed the majority of the rain gutter on the downwind side was clear full of ashes. It was like pale grey clay. I noticed it because the front part was full of water. I cleaned that out too. Unfortunately I'd already tossed the sticks so I had to use my fingers. :-p I inspected my roof. Looked good. Then I climbed down and took Rosie for a walk. I'm tired now. I should have eaten first.

11:36 a.m. 
I'm trying to air it out in here. I'm hoping that will help my headache. Mr. Bill has driven through twice, so I have to keep jumping up and closing everything down. I took out the trash and changed (and binned) the hand towels. It seems better now. Both Rosie and I are longing to go home. I have to keep reminding myself, "...just 2 more nights." I ache to be home. The solitary confinement is torture. 

8:50 p.m.
Today drug on forever! I chased down more contaminated items. VOCs spread to everything! Once I got them binned my headache went away. Worked on spinning. One more day. Two nights. Ugh!

Tuesday, 9/1/15

Woke up at 6:35 a.m. refreshed. When I looked out the windows it looked like fog rolling in. I was a bit anxious until I got outside, and could verify that it was "just fog." There was a strange chemically smell to the woods this morning though. Like a pulp mill. We're back inside. Hopefully there won't be any adverse effects from the stink. @@ Its always something! 

No such luck: chest pain, lymph pain, sore throat. 

10:00 a.m. 

The fog cleared and its a perfect fall day. Rosie and I are enjoying our time outside.

So many times with this condition I feel like I'm being sacrificed on the alter of a foreign god. Mammon, the worship of money and commerce. I'm being slain by the toxic chemicals of this industrial age. The devotees of "profit," in their fervor of slavish acquisition don't care how many bodies pile up. Are you a Bible reader? Are you familiar with the  false gods of old? Mammon, Baal, Astaroth. They required human sacrifices. They preferred innocents, especially babies. I'm no innocent, but I am Redeemed. In ancient times they would kill babies and spread their blood over the foundations of a new home, then entomb the body in the foundation. Its hard to fathom that people could believe that that was a "good thing!" Followers of Baal had statues of him that were furnaces, with outstretched hands. The were heated white hot and the babies were laid on the outstretched, glowing hands and burned alive. People thought that was a "good thing" too! We're not that different. Ever looked at how many babies are killed everyday in your country? Here in the US the numbers are obscene! I recently read an article where Planned Parenthood, the largest purveyor of abortions world wide, was found to have grossly underreported the numbers! And I watched a video of a covert interview with 'the head of the baby parts merchandising department.' That wasn't her real title, just the one I gave her. She was in charge of funding the abortion clinics and she did it by selling baby parts. She'd give their doctors lists of the parts (orders) that they were looking for, so they could take special care when dissecting the babies (alive in the womb) so as not to damage the merchandise! They have to cut them up inside the mother, because once the baby is outside the mother the practice is considered murder. The "tissue" must be " fresh" to preserve its "medical value." Thats why they leave them alive when they butcher them for parts, even while claiming its not a living baby. Did you know that God considers them living valuable people in the womb? In Exodus 21:22 if a man strikes a pregnant woman and the unborn baby is born injured, or dead, he is punished "an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a life for a life." We, as a society, will surely face the wrath of God. Everyday we poison our children with the spewing chemical poisons that glorify Mammon, while the CEOs chant their mantra, "Profits, profits, profits..." We need to stop! We need to ask God's forgiveness. 

Sure we all have synthetic stuff. We can't change the past.  But we can stop buying new synthetic stuff. If we make better choices from this day forward, we can make a positive difference, and by that, cast down our societal alters to Mammon. Does that sound a little fanatical to you? It does if you you aren't looking at the world through the lens of Biblical truth. God gave us His Word so that we may divine the truth. In the very first book, Satan deceives Eve by telling her that what God said wasn't true. He hasn't changed his playbook. Right now we, as societies around the world, are being told that taking the lives of unborn children is acceptable. "Its a woman's right." Satan has drawn a gauzy, sparkly veil over reason and conscience. When looked at God's Word, taking the life of unborn children is an abomination! 

We are being plied with the lie that drugs are the answer to societies problems. Even our babies and children are on prescription drugs! God says "Have nothing to do with sorcery". In the Greek translation the word 'pharmacopeia' is used for sorcery. Sorcery is defined as the use of mind altering substances. What do prescription drugs do? They mask the problem. They make your mind think the problem is gone. In reality, they do nothing to heal the body. Yet we've all been indoctrinated to believe that this is the "best medicine." Why? Profits. Its another gauzy, glittery veil,that Satan has pulled over our collective eyes. 

It took getting this condition for me to recognize the deception. Please, don't let it go that far before you do! End time prophecies talk about the New Babylon, a "center of commerce" being cast down and destroyed in one day (Revelation 18:8) and all the countries of the world will stand far off and weep for her and her commodities. I worry that that is the US. We are not mentioned in any other end time prophecies. Briton (and even her subsidiaries) is, even though at the time of the writing of the prophecies it was a wild and uncivilized place. She hadn't conquered anything. We need to wake up, repent, and ask for forgiveness. It doesn't matter if you don't live in the US, I don't have any real knowledge that "New Babylon" is the US. I just see similarities. I'm worried about my country, as each of you should be concerned about yours. The Bible warns that without it's truth people are "being blown about by the winds of doctrine" as much as "a ship without a rudder." Those winds of doctrine are the mores of society. They shift and change. But they aren't truth. They are deceit. And they are harmful for us. The Word of God is the truth, even though sometimes its very hard to look at. Lets face it, most of us don't want to see the truth. We don't even look for it. We see what we want to see. We want the truth to "fall on the side" that benefits us. Its human nature. We want the "easy button." We want what we want, when we want it. Truth is often hard. It means we'll have to work harder, and we may have to do without the thing we desire. But, hard or not, truth is the most healthful thing for us. 

I have a unique perspective, being forced out of the comforts and distractions of modern society. I've been forced to push aside the veils. I'm confronted with certain realities that jar the modern dogma and confirm the truth in the Word of God. Perhaps its the grappling with so many life threatening chemical injuries that drives me to share...

Please, learn to discern the truth. Read the Bible and apply it to everything in your life. It was written for "yesterday, today and tomorrow." Look for the truths that God is showing you. Seek God and turn away from deceit and sin. If you have not accepted His Gift of Redemption, do it now. 

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Blitzed, Don't Know How or What

Its another one of those exposures that I can only guess the cause. It was bad. Very bad. I'd been spending days working on my RV and feeling nearly normal. I decide to tackle the vanity mirror. I'd duct taped it shut because a previous owner had spilled perfume in there. I'd filled it with tea bags to absorb the odors. Its been 4 years, I figured it was safe enough. I pulled off the tape, cleaned out the teabags and sprayed it down with enzymes. It still smelled of perfume so I removed everything that still stunk. The door, the top of the lowest shelf and the bottoms of the middle two. I took them all outside. My husband can cut new sections of shelf out of trim I'd saved. I started putting more coats of sealer on the door. I didn't notice much of an adverse reaction from working with the perfumey door. I was standing on the up wind side while working on it. I went in and out all day, putting on 12 coats. I did sniff it after each coat. Ron was working on his boat. We were having a great, nearly normal day. I even cooked dinner for my daughter and her family. It was after dinner, and after I took the dog out for her evening potty, that I started to have stomach pains. Intense, sharp stomach pains, like I'd ingested something bad.

Only I hadn't really eaten anything. I only had a little taste of the meatloaf sauce. I can't eat meat, I can't get it past my LES, because of the achalasia. So when I started feeling nauseous after dinner, I was surprised. I went to bed but my stomach just got worse. It was tying itself into a painful knot. It felt like it was twisting up tighter and tighter, wrapped around a searing hot blade. Yeah, I know, it sounds melodramatic. But thats the only way I can describe it accurately. You know I don't vomit because of the achalasia, right? Well, it felt like I wanted to vomit, but I couldn't. So there I was, feeling like I wanted to vomit and the pressure under my LES building and building, and the painful spot winding up tighter and tighter. Around 10:00 p.m. my body overcame the tightly clamped LES and violently purged itself. Violently was not an understatement. It left me feeling beat up, shaking and weak. Only it wasn't done yet. I vomitted all night. The last round was about 6:00 in the morning. 

When I woke up around 9:00 I was so weak I couldn't get out of bed. It was all I could do to sit up. I was shaking and disoriented. I could barely think. I knew I needed to get up and let the dog out. I knew I needed to take care of myself. I remember thinking that if there was ever a time I needed someone to take care of me, this was it. I forced myself to do it. I moved slowly. Pain started ramping up and I found myself in the middle of one of those horrible days where I take scalding hot showers, alternating with the IR sauna continuously, and crying in pain. My liver was so swollen I could barely stand it. My lymph glands were congesting. My head was pounding with a full on migraine. Even sound hurt. It reminded me of the time we were staying at the yurts on the coast and the campground sprayed for mosquitos. My stomach was still painful and queasy so I was afraid to try to put anything in it. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. Finally, I tried taking a whole dropper full of one of my meds for my liver (like 10x the normal dose) and my liver's swelling went down.  Around 8:00 p.m. the pain was gone. I crawled into the sauna one more time, then went to bed. 

I slept pretty good that night. I'm still weak and sore, but no longer shakey. I managed some coffee and my nutritionals with yogurt. I'm crawling out of the hole, slowly. I was supposed to watch Joey today. I can't do that. I cancelled my dentist apt for Thursday. I don't know exactly what got me. It could have been the perfume. It could have been whatever Ron was using on his boat. Or someone could  have sprayed something, and I wasn't aware of it. I don't know, so I'm staying in. If I had the energy I think I'd be depressed about having been knocked off my pins again. Only I'm to tired to think about it.

Sunday, June 14, 2015

To Shear, Or Not

Finally I got a chance to shear. The spraying let up long enough that I could get out safely. I started withthe  llamas. It took me two days to do the 4 of them. 
Then I started the sheep. I did one the first morning. I did two yesterday, but someone sprayed OP pesticide while I was outside. I got hurt. So frustrated!

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Cutsforth Again

Tuesday May 26, 2015

Pioneer intended to spray their GMO Liberty Link corn with Liberty (atrizine plus glufosinate) and glyphosate this morning. Since they start anytime from 6:00 a.m. On, I left by 5:30 a.m. It was a struggle to get it all put together on time. Oh, I got plenty of notice, but a different neighbor sprayed Sunday, and didn't tell me. Yesterday, two of my (full) glass gallon water jars had material fatigue. The bottoms cracked clean off and the water went everywhere. I wasn't even touching them! They were stored in the bin. It was a couple of hours after I'd cleaned up the first one that the second one went out. Then the air conditioner kept tripping the refrigerator breaker and I couldn't get the fridge and freezer cold to load. I was up late trying to finish the loading. @@ Am I cursed? 

On the positive side, I got 18 days home in a row.  I think thats a recod for the year. I got to watch Joey everyday last week, and Ron and I went and looked at property on Memorial Day. :-) Saturday I climbed up on the RV roof and found/patched some holes. It was leaking again. I figured out what to order to safely redo the whole roof myself. I'll order it when I get home again. 

I'm up at Cutsforth. Hopefully there won't be too much mosquito repellent this weekend. I did notice a large oil stain on the ground just under my RV when I was setting up. I can't smell anything coming from it. I'm spraying it with enzymes just to be safer, and have asked for a shovel to remove it.

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

7:23 a.m.

O.k. That did not go well. Sandy, the camp host, brought me a shovel and a garbage bag. The oil spill was about the size of a large pizza. I'd been thinking that a gallon freezer bag would do the job. A large leaf bag was very generous. I was thinking that if I stayed well back from it I'd be o.k.. You, know, not get my face close to it. Stay clear back on the end of the shovel... I even put on nitrile gloves. I kept spraying the oil with enzymes as I worked. My plan seemed to be working. When I got the oil stained gravel up I could see there was oil soaked dirt underneath. I could smell it just a little.  I couldn't leave it like that, so I sprayed it down good and dug it out and put it right into the bag. I kept spraying. The dark layer was about 1/2-1". I could see there was more dark oily dirt under the unstained gravel. I didn't know if it was some kind of pre gravel treatment or the spill had been larger, or seeped. I figured I'd quit there and let someone else deal with it. I went around the outskirts of the campsight and got shovelfuls of clean dirt and filled in the hole. I figured that would trap the VOCs. Then I scavenged gravel to cover the dirt. I carefully tied the bag, keeping the opening downwind and pointed away from me. Good so far. 

I'd ended up with a lot more contaminated dirt than I'd expected. There was about a 5 gallon bucket worth. I knew I couldn't pick up the bag; the dirt was too heavy. The bag would tear. But there was a box in one one the basement bins. I could open it out and roll the bag carefully onto it. Then I could drag the box away to the place that Sandy had asked me too, so she could pick it up. I laid the empty part of the bag out  on the box and began trying to coax it, by rolling the dirt inside, through the bag, a little at a time onto the box. They don't make bags the way they used to. It tore, spilling oily soil onto the ground, right in front of my face. Diesel fumes rolled up like flame searing the left side of my face. I stumbled backwards, then quickly grabbed the dirt up with my gloved hand as best I could, while keeping my face as far away as possible. I dropped the loose, reeking soil onto the box. I'd hit the "Oh Shit!!!" Wall, again. I quickly got in the RV, stripping off all my clothes, and stuffing them into a laundry bag. I only took the time to remove my cellphone and keys from the pockets before knotting it shut. I grabbed the dish soap (its designed to cut grease) and went immediately into the shower. I slathered dish soap everywhere, especially my face and hair. I rinsed thoroughly, generously using my precious, limited water supply. I'd deal with that later. I turned on the exhaust fan after the first round and collapsed onto the tub seat. I washed and rinsed 4 more times as I bawled, wailing my frustration, terror and grief. The burning on my face was less, but weakness, chest pain and difficulty breathing had already set in. For me heart attack and suffocation by diaphragm paralysis are the usual responses I have to diesel exposure. I dragged my uncoordinated body out of the shower, arms and legs feeling like wooden clubs. My mind was in a flat out panic. I could barely think of what to do. Thoughts collided in my brain like 6 frozen peas in a shaken jar. I struggled to focus, audibly talking myself through what I needed to do. First, get dry, put on some clothes. The thought popped into my consciousness to support my immune system. I got glutathione out of the fridge to warm. I took extra RNA drops, and arnica sublinguals for the climbing pain, and lymph congestion. My chest ached like a hatchet blade was buried in it. Shaking, I mixed up C, magnesium, Cellfood and lithium. I was hoping the lithium would calm my richocheting thoughts. I called Ron. He wanted me to tell him what to do. I could barely decide what I needed to do next. I couldn't think of anything that he could do. He wanted to "come help me." I told him what I was doing, and that when I got my shot done, I'd want Sandy to come unplug me.  There was no need for him to drop what he was doing. It would take him hours to get here and there wasn't anything more that he could do, that I wasn't already doing. I just needed to talk to him because I was afraid. I didn't say it out loud, but the PTSD from old exposures, is triggered by new exposures, and it can be just as debilitating as the physical traumas. I finished drinking my C mix while on the phone with Ron. I emptied the contents of 2 probiotic capsules into my mouth. The thought had popped up that "the gut is 70% of the immune system." I repeated to Ron that  I'd move after I finished doing everything I could to prevent full blown reactions. I'd call Sandy when I was ready. I'd call Ron back when I knew what I was going to do next, and where I was going. The phrase from childhood games of "monster" kept reverberating in my head, "run, run for your life." Only I was too weak to get myself out of there and to confused to drive. I took some ATP and K2 to give myself some energy to deal with everything. I'd been trying a Magnesium "oil" spray, and it had helped with burning skin following pesticide exposures. I got out the spray bottle and doused my skin, everywhere I could reach. It helped. Thats when I realized the diesel fumes had "burnt" my left eyeball, as well. I couldn't think of anything to do for that. I have some homeopathic eye drops somewhere, but I couldn't find them. Maybe they're at home. I got out my IV kit, instead.

What I'd taken was helping. Things were beginning to ease. I sat down next to the window to get good light for the stick. First I called Rosie up on the seat and into my lap. I wrapped my arms around her and cried into her fur, needing the solace that she brings me. She snuggled up, seeming to recognize how much I needed her. She licked my arms, neck, face and even my hair. She helped. It eased the shaking and the feeling of being overwhelmed. I was ready to do that IV. Thats when I found out that my veins had sucked into my arms and I couldn't see them. Normally they're prominent. I don't even use a tourniquet. I got a sock to use instead. The only thing I could see were the scars. I aimed at the scars on my right arm's inside elbow vein. I couldn't seem to get any blood to come up the tube. I tried 3 times. When I'd take out the needle, blood would come out. O.k., so maybe a bad needle? I switched to a new needle and the left arm. It took me several sticks to find the vein. When I did, I taped the needle down and began the procedure. Only the Magnesium oil made the tape not stick. As I began the injection, the tape unstuck and the needle came out! With both arm veins bleeding like sieves I decided to try the tiny vein on the back of my left hand. I stuck paper towels into my elbow joints and bent up my arms. I propped my feet up on the space heater and went after that tiny vein on the back of my hand. I got it in one try. It was a good stick. I taped it down. Relief! Oh crap, same problem. As I began injecting the tape gave way and the needle backed out. I hadn't put magnesium oil there, so I didn't think I was going to have the same problem. I ended up with a painful lump of glutathione injected into the soft tissue of the back of my hand. Well at least it would absorb slowly from there. Now what? I was running out of locations to try.

At this point Sandy showed up. Ron had called her. I weakly crawled into the front seat to talk to her through the closed window.  I must have looked a sight. I was holding my bloody syringe and injection needle in my hands, bloody paper towels sticking out from both elbow joints, face red and swollen, hair awry from my shower and Rosie's ministrations, weak and shaking... She didn't say anything about that. I had her unplug me. Then crawled back to finish my IV. I could see a vein further down my hand but it was too wiggly to make the stick. I tried. Another hole. I took off my Medic ID and tried that area. That vein is deeper, and harder to hit. Its also more painful. This time I used a really long piece of tape and put it clear around my wrist, figuring I'd stick the tape to the tape. That should alleviate the magnesium oil/tape coming loose problem. I couldn't get that vein, so I moved to where it went right across the wrist bone. I got it and anchored it, tape on tape. I finally got the glute in! That had to be one of the worst emergency self injections I've ever performed. 

At that point I just sat and cried softy. I took stock of my situation and realized my breathing was still labored, but better. It still felt like someone was sitting on my chest, and it was hard to draw breath. I focused on just breathing for awhile. Then I began the ordeal of putting my RV back together. You see, I'd torn everything apart to dry it out before I'd gone out to remove the oil stained gravel. Water from the roof leaks was under the cushions and the decking was delaminating. I'd discovered it when I'd first got here. The wall where it has run down (the inside) was squishy, too. Then there was the water in the storage compartment, from where the jars had broke. All of that was torn apart and airing out, besides all the stuff I usually set out when I make camp. It took me awhile, moving slowly, resting often, to get it all put back together. 

Finally, I had everything stowed, and drove off. I left the stack of leveling blocks, because with that open bag of diesel infused soil, sitting right next to them, it was too toxic to collect them. The first alternate camp sight I backed into was too short, or my RV was too long. My front wheels were still on the approach grade. I would have had to raise the rear duallies by six levels. I don't have enough leveling blocks; you have to build a pyramid for each tire. You're not supposed to raise more than 3 levels, anyway. The next sight down I needed to be facing the other way to back in. I carefully drove all the way down to the bottom of the hill to turn around.  Then slowly, cautiously back up. I could tell my brain was not working very well, so I was being extra careful. Now facing the right way, I backed right into it and only had to raise one set of duallies. It took every block I had left to raise them by 2 (someone remind me to get another set when I get home). The RV's still a little cock-eyed, but I've been worse.

Then I called Sandy to thank her for her help, and tell her where I moved to. I told her about my friend who always says, "stick a fork in me, I'm done!" I felt like pulledf pork. Sandy got the joke. :-} Then I called Ron, to tell him I was moved and improving. After that, I curled up and just tried to get through the rising tide of secondary symptoms.I fell asleep and then woke up at one point drowning in fluid in my lungs. I have that kind of asthma. I developed it after the Monitor exposure of '96. I'm sure it wasn't a lot, it doesn't take much to drown a person. It just kept coming. I coughed out liquid for probably an hour, fighting for breath the whole time. The fever and chills add to the misery. I was still weak and shakey and couldn't walk more than 30 ft. I discovered that when I took Rosie out to potty. The magnesium and arnica seemed to be keeping the lymph pain down to a tolerable level. I took more supplements and tried to eat something, to keep my strength up. So far the only thing I'd eaten had been yogurt with my vitamins and coffee. I guess the positive side was that I'd taken all those supplements and vitamins 30 minutes before going out to dig gravel. I'd at least had a "full tank." I laid around the rest of the day, battling through symptoms and "recovering." Too debilitated to even want to watch a DVD. 

I took my stats with a blood pressure cuff I'd got for my emergency kit. It said, "112/60 94/min" and showed green. It must be o.k. I realized I don't know what the numbers really mean. 

Later Ron called while driving home with Joey. He'd had a really suck-pill day. I apologized. He said it wasn't all my fault. He'd had issues with a co-worker and his boss. I felt guilty for putting him through all the stress, and figured if it hadn't been for me, he probably could have handled the co-worker better. The call left me feeling morose. At 7:30 p.m. I decided I'd have to watch something to take my mind off of my own issues. I made myself put in a DVD, and I worked on resizing a water jar cover. I crochet the water jars jackets so they don't clink together and break in transport. 

Rosie and I went to bed about 9:30 p.m.I had a surprisingly good night, with only a little choking, and coughing up water. I woke up this morning feeling extremely stiff, with the keen edge of that imaginary hatchet still feeling like it was buried in my chest. I also still had pretty bad lymph pain in my spine, arm pits and ribs. It was 7:30. I was still weak and couldn't manage more than 30' to take Rosie out. Its taken me until now, 10:30 a.m. To get that lymph pain knocked back down to tolerable. Again, the mag oil really helped. Interesting. I took my RNA supplements, the ATP and K2. I'm scraping up the energy to take the caps with yogurt. I spent 30 minutes zapping myself. 

5:14 p.m. I spent the day struggling through lymph kidney, ureter and bladder pain, fever and chills. Around 3:00 I realized I'd broke over the hump and that the episode was much shorter than I expected. I must be getting better. Thats a relief! I took my blood pressure again. 105/53 94/min todays was lower. I'm starving, but don't have energy to cook. I pulled something out of the freezer. I'll see if I can hold onto it. My major muscles are all sore.

Thursday, May 28, 2015

8:29 a.m.

I slept well. That is tremendously healing. I did wake up ay 5:50 with esophageal pain, it felt like regurge irritation, and acid reflux. I got up and drank some water; that took care of it. I went back to bed and slept in until the Poppa and Joey-boy call. 

During the course of the call I asked about my livestock. Ron wasn't going to tell me until I got back, but 3 lambs are dead. 2 left lying on the field, one gone completely. Ron says there's no sign of anything having gone under or through the fence. I'm wondering if maybe it went over? A large dog could do it. So could a cougar. One was sighted crossing the school yard, in town several years ago. Ron didn't even know if ours were killed during the day or the night. He didn't check the evening before he discovered them. Anyway, its horribly sad and there isn't anything I can currently do about it. Ron turned the llamas back in with them. He'd brought the ewes and lambs up to the field right by the house. He thought that would prevent predators. He also turned Lottie (mule) and Mariah (the mare) in with them. A mule can take out a cougar. Maybe I can get a survelliance cam now. I'm sure it will be back. 

Well, today I need to dump the grey water. I used a lot of water when I showered after the diesel exposure. It will be better if I do it today, rather than wait until the weekend with more people coming. That means I have to pack everything back up, since I'll have to drive to a dump station, down below. I'm not sure how easy getting out of this space is going to be. Its right on the curve and the road is narrow, with a steep drop off on one side and an embankment on the other. Its going to really put my RV driving skills to the test.  Mentally, I'm not sure if I've recovered enough. Plus, its a lot of physical work, breaking down, moving, setting back up. The actual dumping part's not that hard. I need to call Sandy, later, and find out which station might be the safest. I don't want to call her too early. I still feel guilty about making her get out of bed the first morning. :-/ 

10:30 a.m.

It turned out much easier than I thought! :-) I'm very pleased. When things go well, I feel like celebrating! I only had to back up once getting out of this spot. No one was in the section Sandy directed me to. It worked perfectly. I could even take my time and not worry about drive by exposures. Since it went so well I drove down the mountain to that property I saw the for sale sign on and copied down the number. I did have more difficulty getting back out of there. It took me 6 back ups to get turned around. They didn't really have a place for turning a 30' RV around. I called that realtor when I got set up back here. He wasn't in. I'll call him again later. I could see what looked like a yellow double wide back in there. I also called Ron and let him know the dump went o.k., so he wouldn't be worrying about me having another catastrophe.

Friday, May 29, 2015

The rest of yesterday was pretty much uneventful. I rested. I worked on the water jar sleeves. I did get hold of the realtor. He told me that property was only 3.5 acres. He's working on a list of other possible properties, and may take us to see the Long Creek ones. He seemed very nice. 

Oh, I didn't tell you about our trip to Long Creek to look at two properties. I made an appointment with a realtor down there. Ron arranged his schedule to go with me. Its a two hour drive from our house. The realtor didn't show. We waited at the meeting spot for 30 min. I called all 3 of his numbers, and left him a message. We even went into town and looked for him. We spent the rest of the day driving around looking at properties by our selves. We didn't go on the properties since they were posted "No Trespassing." But we were able to see where they were, and pick up a couple more possibilities. Since the realtor hasn't returned my call (like maybe there was an emergency), I'm getting a different realtor.

Thats pretty much the high points. I did make soup and put out the carrot and celery scraps for the chipmunks and squirrels. They weren't too interested. A small rock chuck, or a very large ground squirrel, showed up though. He was very interested and pretty cute! Only Rosie thought he was pretty cute and very exciting, too. She jumped up really fast and scared him away. 

8:12 a.m. Poppa and Joey-boy called. Joey was cranky. Poppa was planning on going fishing tomorrow and coming up here Sunday. The thought of fishing had him in a good mood. Then I reminded him that the park may need me to move back up to my usual spot, since they usually get an influx of guests on Fridays for the weekend. After the call Rosie and I went out and filled the fresh water tank. I pulled weeds and cleaned up downed branches into a kindling pile while it was filling. When I came back in I noticed I'm showing signs of porphyria. I'd thought I'd done pretty good as far as minimizing damage from that diesel exposure. The porphyria symptoms where a surprise. I haven't had them in a long, long time. And I haven't been out in the sun hardly at all. My urine was lavender. I guess I'm not eating enough sugar. I'd cut back, hoping to lose a little weight. Sigh. Talk about being between a rock and a fat place.

8:30 p.m.
I spent a very quiet day. I worked on another sleeve. I read a Frank Peretti novel. Another camper arrived. Nothing else exciting or noteworthy happened until 6:00 p.m. when a big thunderstorm came through. It was so close it made all the hair on my body stand up. I turned everything electrical off and we sat in the dark watching it until it was over. It poured. I worried about if I'd found all the leaks.

Saturday, May 30, 2015

I slept in until 7:00 a.m. When we went out to potty I could smell someones soap and toothpaste. On the way back into the RV I smelled artificial blueberry pancake mix. I'm exuding thick, sticky snot out of my esophagus. SMH I can't help but think about the damage that its doing to their bodies that they're not connecting the dots.

Preliminary examination shows no dampness under the cab-over bed cushions. :-) I did find a little dampness in the bottom of the wall, under that window. I can't be sure its from last nights rain or something that I didn't notice before. I'm letting it air out and running the UV air purifier incase of mold spores. 

Outside, in the real world, the day started out bright and clean, but now the air appears hazy. I'm wondering if there's a fire from last nights storm?

Sunday, May 31, 2015

Yesterday was hot and muggy. I read another book and crocheted. It was 3:00 p.m. before I got the snot resolved. I started over with coffee after that. I never got my supplements taken. I didn't want to waste them. It rained again in the afternoon, hard. There was only a little, distant thunder.  After that an older guy, dressed in a T-shirt, bermuda shorts, socks and berkies, clomped down the hill, out of the woods. I wondered if maybe he'd hiked up the road in the morning (why I smelled the soap and toothpaste), and been lost in the woods all day. He was making a beeline for his trailer, cutting across several campsights. He certainly was not dressed for a day in the woods. He did look rather grumpy. 

I did have some soup, but it was late and I regurged, aspirated and choked all night. 

I'm cranky this morning. Rosie's so bored with being locked in here she refuses to pee when we go out. She spends her time sniffing instead. Not the kind where she's looking for a good spot, either. I give up after 10-15 minutes and we come back in. In an hour or so she'll insist she needs to go out again... Clever of her. I'm letting her know I'm displeased with her by not letting her up on the couch. It will be interesting to see if she gets it.

She got it! Next time I took her out she did her business right away. I made a big deal out if it and gave her a liver treat. 

My husband, and my daughter and family came up for 3 hrs. Of course it was right before and during the afternoon thunder storm! When it was directly overhead they took shelter in Ron's truck while Rosie and I sat in the cab of the RV and made faces at them. The trucks were nose to nose. Ron and Justin ended up taking 3 wheelbarrow loads of bad dirt and gravel, from 5 locations up at my regular spot. I'd also discovered this morning, that someone had apparently torn apart a chainsaw or some such thing on the picnic table in the spot I'd moved to. No wonder I kept smelling gas! It also explains why I felt weak and shaky every time I took the dog out. I took my VOC detector out and ran it around the sight. There were a lot of other spills, too. I'm trying to figure out how much of my problems were due to the old gas/oil, and how much was the other campers. The soap, etc, was definitely one of them. After all the trouble I had with other campers at OHV, I'm hesitant to rule them out. Which sucks because it really limits my safer places.  I treated the picnic table with enzymes and covered the stains with baking soda. Its much better now that my usual spot is cleaned up and we're back up here. :-) I've had the windows open and aired every thing out. I had Ron check my roof patch and the window that I was worried about, while he was here. He said they both looked fine. He also brought up a new 30 amp circuit breaker for the air conditioner. Did I mention that it kept tripping? Hopefully we'll be able to spend the rest of the week with no more exposures. :-)

Monday, June 1, 2015

Ahhh, a good night's sleep! I slept in, clear until a quarter after 7:00. It was lovely. It certainly helped that the RV was finally level. I had used every block I had at the last spot, but it wasn't quite enough. So my head was "downhill" even with the extra pillows. Well, enough so that I "felt" like I was sleeping with my head downhill. Anyway, no puking last night! I got up and had my coffee and got it down, no snot! Yay!!! I'm taking vitamins, then we'll start laundry. :-) I'm feeling so much better. I'm trying to make myself take it easy, go slow. 

One of the other breakers tripped last night. The one with the refrigerator and the heater on it. I'm hoping its a fluke... Well, an old lady can hope anyway. I'll keep an eye on it.  I didn't get my call this morning, so I called. Joey stayed home with his daddy. Ron was driving the truck. It doesn't have handsfree cell phone. He needs to dispose of the dirt. I didn't tell him about the breaker tripping. He has enough on his plate. 

10:23 a.m.

I got the dirty laundry washed and spread out on a fir tree. I'm running the first of the items I was wearing when I tried to clean up the diesel. The rest are soaking in a bucket. Thats where they all started. I found my purple face mask! I'd thought I'd lost it. It was tucked deep in the pocket of the heavy shirt that's currently being washed. I'm drying it, then I'll bag it to wash at home. I think almost all the other campers have left. I watched the smelly soap guy pack up and leave this morning, while doing laundry. 


I may not get my toxed laundry clean enough to bring in the RV. The first piece is drying, but it still smells. I may have to leave it out there for a lot longer. Now I'm worried about cleaning out the wash machine. Time will tell. 

3:00 p.m.
When I finished the exposure clothes I filled both tubs of the wash machine and put in enzyme cleaner. Then I left it to sit for a couple of hours. It cleaned up real well.

I sprayed weeds with ag vinegar about 1:30. I didn't get it all done. I ran out. Already I can see the thistles are dying. The clover is dead. The grass and mullan are sickly but hanging on. I'll pull or put boiling water on the survivors tomorrow.

6:00 p.m.

Oh dear! The most horrid smell of sewer gas is permeating the RV! I was afraid a sewer pipe had broken or something. I tracked the source to under the bathroom sink. I found that the stack ends right under the counter with a cap that has VENT HOLES!!! Aaaaaaah! O.K. Filter clothe is going to cover that thing when I get home. For now I gave it a paper towel "hat." No wonder it takes me longer to recover from exposures when I can't open the windows. Sheesh! Thats disgusting. So, basically, its burping because my tanks are full. The gage says I have a third to go, but I'm thinking a bulb may be out. I'll empty in the morning. I have all the windows and vents open for now.

Tuesday, June 2, 2015


We slept all night with the vents open. I haven't slept with the windows open in 11 years. Not since the melon growers moved in. They like to spray in the middle of the night. It was lovely having all that fresh air. Of course the sunlight comes in with the fresh air, so no sleeping in. We got up and I did a little weeding, while Rosie did her business. We're waiting for our Poppa and Joey call before we head down to empty the tanks. 

9:53 a.m.

I'm feeling very proud of myself. Maybe that's not the right word, but I feel full of joy at how far I've come from just 5 years ago. I realized it as I rounded the back of the RV, to pull the awnings back down. From 7:30-9:00 I'd broken down, drove down to F9, dumped, cleaned up the equipment, stowed it all, driven back up, parked in a different spot so I could weed the spot under the RV, weeded, re-parked and set up, plugged in, swept the floors, shook out the rugs, weeded some more, fed the dog and put digester in the tanks, all before my morning coffee. Wow! I'm pinching myself! Of course I had to take a 10 minute rest in there, but still, its so much better than I used to be. 

Five years ago I had a dream, an idea, that maybe, just maybe, if I could find a not too toxic RV I could remodel it to non-toxic and leave my home when they sprayed. I hoped it would give me a chance to get better. At that time I was barely able to stand up for two minutes. I spent most days lying in my chair, unable to move much at all. Much of the time mentally impaired from the poisons they were applying. It took me the whole first year just to get the RV ready. I had to work in 5, then 10, then 15 minute increments, with hours of rest in between, and I was exhausted the whole time. My husband thought I couldn't do it. He figured it was another project that he would have to do, and a big waste of money. But I got it done. The first 2 years I took it out, I wasn't even able to dump my own waste water, Ron would do it and helped me set back up. Last year I started dumping while at Ansen-Wright. This year, I'm doing it all and weeding, a few days after exposures! I'm tons better. I realized it as I staggered around the back of the RV because I was tired. I realized I still wasn't as tired as I used to be all the time. I'm thrilled with my progress! It felt good to realize how far I'd come. 

11:22 a.m.

Showered. I love being clean. Thats the hardest part of living in the RV. I Don't get to shower every day. Sponge baths don't cut it. One of my favorite authors, Patrick F. McManus writes about a mountain man, "Rancid Crabtree" who doesn't bath because he wants a protective "crust" (he thinks it keeps the germs out).  Ick. If I don't shower everyday, I can feel that crust forming. When I have my property, I'll have water, electrical and sewer hook ups and will be able to shower everyday. :-) Its my next dream...

11:49 a.m.
 LOL I was taking my supplements and a snowshoe rabbit showed up. My did he wind up Rosie. His feet were still white, and so was his undercoat. We could see it because of the breeze. His top coat was brown. He was pretty cute.

7:00 p.m.

I spent the rest of the day weeding. We got all the thistles and mullen that I didn't get sprayed, pulled, from our sight and halfway to the next one. Then after I could feel I'd had enough I worked on my guitar lessons. I'd taught myself to play guitar as a teenager, but forgot everything when I was brain damaged. For many years there my skin was so delicate that pressing a string would cut it. I'm better enough that my skin isn't so fragile. I'm rebuilding those calluses as I relearn the notes and chords. I'm also trying to learn to play better than I did as a kid.

I decided to see if I could get soup down. Still having trouble with celery...

Wednesday June 3, 2015

I spent several hours regurging the bits from the soup. Mostly celery. But slept really good through most of the night. I did wakeup with detox at 4:00. But I went back to sleep and slept in until 7:13 a.m. Drinking coffee triggered more regurge, until I managed to clear the celery bits that were blocking my LES. I sure wish I could come up with the solution to getting that muscle to relax, so solid food will pass again! Oh how I long for pizza!, or nachos! 

We got our morning call. They're still in the truck so its hard to hear. I plan on weeding more today. After I finish the pot of coffee I'll try boiling a few more stubborn plants. Its raining so much, new ones keep coming up. 

6:52 p.m.

Rosie and I spent time in the morning and evening pulling thistles and mullan on the road and at P32. I put boiling water on several more weeds around this sight. I also spent lots of time resting and working on guitar. I made more soup. This time with broccoli, and no celery. Yum! We're spending our evening spinning and watching the Lord of the Rings. 

Friday, June 4, 2015

Oh was I naughty! I stayed up til 11:30 watching "The Return of the King." I wasn't even awake when we got the Joey-boy and Poppa call. They were calling early because Joey's daddy had to go into work early. Poppa took Joey for a fresh donut while waiting for daycare to open. Yum!  Rosie and I got up after the call. We've been out for her potty run (and my first weeding round). Now I'm waiting for my coffee to perc. 

1:00 p.m.

O.k., feeling like Snow White. I was working on my guitar playing, looked up and found a deer grazing and listening right outside the window...

4:00 p.m.

I smelled motor oil in the RV. I'd gotten up for something, and walked through the galley. I smelled it right there, near the ceiling. I thought maybe it was something I'd gotten on my gardening gloves. I'm keeping them in a rack over the door, across from the galley. I bagged them. That wasn't it. I open vents and kept trying to track it down. I suspected it might be coming from the A/C. I duct taped it closed. Its completely covered in strips, clear out past the edges. That was it. There must be a part that had oil in it that broke. I was thinking bearing, Ron suggested compressor. I'd been looking at heat exchangers, to replace that one with, so I'd have heat that was blown through the whole RV. I guess its time. I need to get it coming and do it when I do the roof. 

Friday, June 5, 2015


We slept in again. The phone woke us up. The night was windy and things hit the roof, waking us several times. It is a clear, calm and beautiful morning. I often wonder why I get out of bed at all. I mean really, it seems so pointless sometimes. I get up, get dressed, do my hair and go sit on the sofa. Many of you would think, "Just stay in your pajamas." But I can't. Even before TI I couldn't stay in my pj.s. Now that I'm TI, I don't even sit on my bed with my day clothes on. I can't run the risk of cross contamination. Likewise, I don't sit on the sofa or dinette benches in my pj.s. However, many days, like today, I feel like getting up and dressed is pointless. No one comes to see me. Why should I care if my hair's messy? But I do. So here I sit, halfway through my lonely coffee protocol with the long solitary day stretching out before me. Sigh.

12:06 p.m.

I gave Sandy, the camp host, a call about an hour ago. I was wondering if it would be better to dump the black and grey today or if it would still be safe tomorrow. Turns out I'm already too late. People are scattered all over the park (and in the loop I usually dump at), with 6 more coming in today. Its Fishing Derby weekend.  I'll have to find some place else to dump the septic. I filled the drinking water jars and the fresh water tank. At least that will be ready to go. 

Saturday, June 6, 2015
Broke camp at 7:00 a.m. Headed home.